A True Friend

It’s leading up to that time again. Goodbye. Throughout my life I’ve had a significant number of key goodbyes, as well as many more interim goodbyes. My first major goodbye was leaving my home town of Melbourne to live in New Zealand when I was just shy of 21 years old. I didn’t know how long I’d be gone for. I said goodbye to my high school friends, family friends, and family. And I was welcomed into New Zealand by other friends and a surrogate family. I was there for 7.5 years and made deep friendships and connections.

My next significant goodbye was leaving New Zealand to go back home to Melbourne. All of my adult life, thus far, had been spent in NZ. The people in my life were close friends and had become family, and it was hard, but time to move on. Not long after I moved back home I felt that I should live in Indonesia for one year to teach at a new school there. Along the way I met incredibly awesome people and in a short time had formed lasting friendships despite the short term visit. And now, after nearly 9 months of growing and learning together, yet another significant goodbye is imminent.

So many people in my life have impacted me on various levels. And it’s amazing how something so simple as a Skype conversation can immediately bring you and them so close again. All of a sudden it’s like you never left. It got me thinking about friends throughout my journey of life. How much I love and adore them. And in those moments where insecurity comes knocking at the door – I choose to partner with the truth.

I am reminded of one friend in particular. He’s actually one of my oldest friends. I met him when I was about five years old, I think. He came to my house on a sunny day – I still remember it. We would go all sorts of places together. I didn’t always specifically invite him because I knew he’d come anyway. After a while though I didn’t hang out so much. It became the kind of friendship that if I needed something, then I knew I could ask him for it and he’d be happy to give it. I knew the kind of things he liked to do, but I’d really only hang out when it suited me. There was also a long period of time where I assumed I knew what he liked and so I did those things but I didn’t really enjoy it so much. I knew that he wanted to be friends with all my other friends too, but I wasn’t sure if they would understand him. In hindsight, it was probably because I didn’t fully understand him either. You can only truly know someone when they share their heart with you and you with them. Trust is built through love and vulnerability, and for that there needs to be time spent together.

I didn’t really spend much time with my friend. Oh, I thought I did. But only now am I beginning to understand how he truly connects with me. I’ve got other friends who also know him, and for a long time I was trying to be friends with him the same way they were. I figured that if I copied them, then he’d feel more fulfilled in our friendship. But really, what kind of a friendship is one out of obligation? I was too task-oriented to understand how I was hurting both of us by not being myself. Ahh… Being myself. What does that even look like? Who am I? These are questions most graduating high school students ask themselves. I’m grateful that even through my somewhat nonchalance in high school, my friend came closer to me at this time. My parents were going through a divorce at this time and I was so blessed to have close friends who stood by me and strengthened me. But it was still my faithful friend who was the one whispering truth into my heart the whole time. It was he who reassured me it was nothing to do with me or my siblings. It was my dear friend who led me to forgive them, and thus freeing myself from the pit of self-pity or bitterness. Although my world was changing and moving – my friend held me close and grieved with me. No judgemental word has ever passed his lips.

In New Zealand this friend was someone I couldn’t do life without! I was finally free to figure out who I actually was created to be. In my teenage years I had picked up some lies about myself that were holding me back, and this new start in a new country with new friends allowed me to follow my destiny and my friend was by my side throughout the whole time. He led me to finding out about this amazing couple who are changing children’s lives at a phenomenal rate! He put me in a place where I was privileged to serve alongside these wonderful people and get a training that is second to none! He brought me into a workplace that allowed me to serve the children and earn money at the same time! Those years were some of the best in my life so far and I’m so grateful for friends with good connections!! It was in New Zealand that my friend revealed to me that teaching is my destiny. And he waited for the perfect time where I was ready to accept and choose this path because my whole life prior to that moment, I swore I didn’t want to be a teacher. And now teaching is what I love to do – it’s me. And he knew it all along but didn’t force me into it – he waited for me to catch up and see for myself the glorious joy in pursuing your destiny.

I watched friends get married, and being older than them and single for most of my time in NZ, disappointment and hopelessness came up to my front door. But my friend walked with me through this. He told me that he’s already been through this and he knows how to deal with these sneaky characters. He whispered the truth to me, and as I took a hold of these truths, fear and hopelessness and disappointment would have a hard time getting at me again because now I was armed and ready!! Not to say that they haven’t tried – but they don’t last long before they give up. My friend told me that there’s nothing more powerful than truth. I believe him. I’ve seen too many impossible things happen when the truth is applied.

And here’s some of the truth that I’ve learned over my 30 years of life on this planet. No situation is ever hopeless. Failure isn’t fatal – it’s just feedback – learn from your mistakes. Be yourself because that’s the most fulfilling part of living life. Don’t compare yourself to others – that’s just like comparing a banana to a watermelon. They’re both fruit but they’re completely different! My friend actually is God, who was born on earth so that he could experience everything humans experience in order to walk with them, grieve with them, laugh with them… Every emotion you go through – he has already faced, but he can do one better – he knows the truth that will set you free from the oppressive situations. He actually died on your behalf so that your life would be filled with joy and freedom! He died not so eliminate all sucky situations – but that you would have someone walking through them with you and for the redemption of what was lost.

Jesus never demanded that I change. He never condemned me for the times that I wasn’t reciprocating friendship. He never judged me for the times I made decisions out of fear. Instead he constantly whispered my worth and my identity to my spirit. He spoke encouraging and uplifting words that caused me to leave behind my fear or destructive ways and lift up my head and accept my identity as a child of God. Royalty. Identity. I have been frequently amazed at how gently Jesus speaks the truth, yet how violently the shift happens from destructive to constructive behaviours. Yet there’s a part of me that’s somewhat saddened, because if I knew way back then what I know now about Jesus then what heights would I have reached by now? And if I was believing characteristics about Jesus that Just aren’t true – then how many others are living with veils over their hearts? My deepest desire is that you, too, can know the Jesus I know. My friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

Akiane is the artist - Prince Of Peace, Age 8 (2003), © Copyright

Mission Trip = Completed!

The view out our window at the base house. The beach is about 20m away!

It all started in November 2012. The announcement came at school that we would soon need to select our mission trip options for April 2013. I browsed through the 77 different trips, both local, national and international, and scanned for the ones that stuck out to me. I decided that I wanted to go on a trip that featured work with children. This was my first mission trip and also my first opportunity to travel with a team, rather than only me or one other, and I didn’t want to push myself into the deep end! Our pastors had told us to pick trips based on what our hearts desired as opposed to what our bank balance reflected and I felt at peace about this and selected my trips. The trip I was selected for was my first choice – the island of Guanaja in Honduras, hooray!! This trip gave us the opportunity to partner with a couple who have been there for 8 years and planted a church there which started with only children and teenagers! Their original intent was to open a church to minister to drug and alcohol addicts, however, when they opened the doors – it was the children who showed up! Now, after some time has passed, many of the teens are now young adults and the children have become teens and the ministry is seeping into the homes through the witness of the children. These kids are the ones who are prophesying, telling people about what Jesus did for them, making powerful declarations that will affect their island and nation and bringing God’s love into their community. We were privileged and honoured to spend 8 days with these little powerhouses and we also had the opportunity to hang out with and pamper their mums.

Due to the size of the island there is no work for the men. This means they have to find work on the Cayman Islands, or on fishing or lobster boats, or the mainland of Honduras. This means that often, through no other choice, children and wives are left behind as their fathers and husbands find work. Marital unfaithfulness is rife, and the children know it. I had a conversation with one of the 14 year old girls and she told me that one day she wanted children, but she didn’t want to get married. She’s seen the devastation left in families when the men leave.

I had a little culture shock when we arrived
because of how much it looked like Indonesia!

One of the positives to this island is that due to its natural habitation, there is enough food for everyone. They live by the sea and can catch food for themselves if need be. Everyone is family and pulls together to make life work. The only reason people would go hungry is if they were too lazy to get their food. This means that there are no orphans or abandoned children – no street kids. If something happened to one family, then they have other family members who would take their children in etc.

Graham's Place (my view from my beach lounger!
Unfortunately even lying on the chair didn't
stop the sandflies from biting!!

We spent 4 days total in transit. We took a 4:00am bus from Redding to San Fransisco then a flight from San Fransisco to Houston where we changed planes to catch a flight to San Pedro Sula, Honduras mainland, and made it to our hotel around 11pm! Then the next day we took off for a 4 hour van ride to La Ceiba where we took a tiny little chartered flight over to the island of Guanaja. There were 15 of us on the trip and there were only 2 spare seats on the plane!! Following our arrival to Guanaja we then jumped on the ferry to get around to our little island of Savannah Bight – a 50min ride and we arrived at our lodging around 4:30pm!! Crazy amount of travel for 2 days!! On Sunday we had our first special treat – a trip to Graham’s Place – which is a private owned island that’s been made into a resort. It was such a necessary break after all that traveling! We could relax on the beach chairs or hammocks or the pier. That night was the second of a few special treats on our trip – dinner with their church community. The food was plentiful and delicious!!

The little jetty about 10 mins
walk from our base house.

One of the rock pools in the river on
the forest trek we did on Saturday.

Walking the rickety walkway over
the super boggy marshlands.

Throughout the school week we set up programmes for the primary and secondary school kids. There was only 1 school in the village which meant that the secondary aged children go to school from 7am-12pm and the primary school children go from 1pm til 5pm – and the same teachers teach all day!! In the evenings we had 3 days of ministering to the mums in the community with facials, back rubs and manicures – many of these women had never painted their nails in their life!! We also affirmed them in their roles as mums and as women and empowered them to be who God created them to be. On the fourth night the boys took over and had a men’s night with the guys who are still in the community and some of the young men who are fresh out of school.

Friday saw us treated once again with a trip out to Clearwater Paradise Resort where we were able to go out snorkelling and relax in the hammocks and enjoy the tropical weather. Lunch was included and very delicious – including home-made vanilla ice-cream and some yummy no-bake almond joys!!!  Saturday were more ministry days and church in the evening on Sunday with some slots of street ministry dotted all over the show.

Some of the team on our Saturday trek.

Megan and I were praying for this man’s knee and we saw his face as the pain noticeably lessened and he was able to walk on it with no trouble! But the most amazing things to see were the transformations in people who we were interacting with every day! One 20 year old young man started out teasing our team in Spanish (despite his private school education English) and stayed on the outskirts of any events we ran yet on our final night he offered to be a translator for our team who was preaching at church!! Julie was doing her best, but translating is difficult at the best of times – and this young man stepped up and hit a home run! Another man was cooking for us and there was a misunderstanding between him and his assistant and drunken words were exchanged and threats to families and therefore our cook needed to spend some time in the jail, but after two days of receiving food from his employers and having visits and prayer, he did something that was previously against his character – he gave up his grudge and forgave the misunderstanding and was at church the very day he was released!! This has never happened before! Another one of our women had been too wounded from her previous husband to fully trust a man again, despite living with a good man for at least the last 7 years but after our ministry to the women and her exposure to the presence of God, she announced on Sunday that she was finally ready to trust her new man and get married!! Another young girl who had been taken advantage of at a young age felt the love of God through inner healing and forgiveness and is now filled with hope for her future!

There are plenty of unfinished housed here too - walls but no roof!

Sometimes it’s easy to feel a little disappointed that we didn’t see legs growing out or blind eyes opened, or deaf ears hearing again – but I am just as excited to see a changed life however it comes! Whether it’s an inner healing or physical healing, the fact of the matter is that God wants you well! And it’s our job, as followers of Christ, to share this good news! To tell the world what Jesus did to make a way for our healing! Lives are forever changed through the love that was shared on that island for the 8 days we were there, in addition to the prior 8 years of work the Nelms have been pouring into their people!

If you don't own land, then you can build out over the water.

I want to say thank you, again, to all of those generous people who contributed to my mission fund. I actually could not have gone without all of your donations and it touched my heart deeply that so many of you would want to partner with me in this way! The Nelms’ are working on helping the island to start up a farmers’ market to help create revenue on the island, so for those of you who were partnering with me in prayer – this is a valuable prayer point. When the men are free to return, then transformation with begin in a big way!!