If you’re like me, and have been in church your whole life,
then it’s likely that, just like me, you have heard many references to us being
the ‘bride of Christ’. This statement was confusing to me because, well, I was ok being Christ’s bride, but I
felt sorry for the guys in the church that they had to marry a man. I know now
that the church(as a whole body of
believers) is the bride of Christ, not us as specific individuals, although in
being part of the bride, there are obvious instructions and benefits that come
with that role. For as long as I can remember, I have not heard a specific
sermon on being part of the bride. I mean, I’ve heard plenty of sermons that
are about being part of the ‘body of Christ’ and are usually prepared and given
around yearly offering times or church working bees. If I appear to be a little
cynical, please forgive me – these may simply intersect coincidentally, but
usually I leave with the bitter taste of attempted manipulation in my mouth.
Anyway! On to the real point of this blog. Over the past
year I’ve been exposed to teaching on topics that I haven’t previously heard,
and to be honest, make a lot more sense than the messages I have heard in my
childhood on the same verses. Although I understood the bride of Christ
analogy, I didn’t realise that the parallels to Jewish weddings ran deep. I
want to walk you through the process, because it’s blowing my mind right about
now!
Jewish men and women would live with their parents until
they got married. When a man wanted to marry (or his father deemed him ready),
his father would send out a servant to find a suitable match. We see this in
Genesis 24 when Abraham sent out a servant to find Isaac a wife. The bride
would be chosen. John 15:16 says “You did not choose me, but I chose you and
appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should
remain.” We have been chosen by the Father to be a bride for the Son.
The man would then need to meet this woman and be prepared
to pay the bride price, or dowry. “We were bought at a price” (1 Cor 7:23) –
the highest price. Jesus gave His life so we might live with him, in His land
and His house. In 1 Cor 6:19-20 we are reminded that “your body is the temple
of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your
own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in
your spirit, which are God’s.”
After the bride price had been discussed and agreed on,
there would be a betrothal ceremony. The bride had been chosen, but she had the
final say. She had a right to refuse. We often say that God is a gentleman and
will not force anyone to accept Him. This too is illustrated in the marriage
analogy. The man would offer his potential wife a cup of wine. If she drank it,
she agreed to marry and if she poured it out or broke the cup then she refused
the man. Every person has a choice of whether to accept the betrothal of Jesus
or reject it.
If she accepted then they would share the cup of wine – and
then would share a second cup of wine months or years later during the wedding
ceremony. In Luke 22:20 Jesus told his disciples that “This cup is the new
covenant in my blood, which is shed for you” and in vs 18 told them that he
will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the day he would
drink it new with them in His Father’s kingdom. The disciples would not have
missed the frequent wedding hints that Jesus kept throwing out to them.
In addition to the bride price, which was paid to the
father, the man would usually bring a gift for his betrothed. It was often
something valuable that he could leave with her so that she would remember him
while he was away building a home for them. In our day we have an engagement
ring, in those days it might have been a ring or a coin or something, but for
us – we have the Holy Spirit. Jesus left earth to prepare a place for us, but
he said he was leaving us with an advocate, the Holy Spirit, and with Him are
the gifts of the Spirit.
After the covenant was sealed and written in triplicate (one
for the groom, one for the father and one for the Synagogue) the couple were
officially married, but the marriage would not be consummated until the man
came back to claim his bride. The contract was legal and binding and the couple
could only separate if the man filed for divorce – the woman had no say in it.
The man would then make a speech that might include sentences such as: In my
father’s house there are many rooms, and I will go to prepare a place for you.
And when I have prepared a place I will return to receive you to myself, that
were I am, you will be also (paraphrased from John 14:2-3). The first time I
heard that I had tingles running up and down my spine!!
The bride would then return to her house, with her bridesmaids,
and wait for her husband. She was now betrothed. Married. Set apart. It was up
to her to stay faithful. She would wear a veil on her head to indicate she was
no longer available. She would often light a lamp in her room at night to
ensure her husband knew where to come to get her. This is illustrated in the
parable of the ten virgins (Matt 25) where only five had enough oil to attend
the wedding ceremony. It was the bridesmaids’ job to ensure they had enough oil
to keep the lamp burning in the window, and to prepare the bride for marriage.
When the groom had finished building his new house (at which
no one would know the exact time except his father) he would gather together
his groomsmen and his family and they would parade through the streets to collect
his bride. He would often come in the middle of the night, unannounced apart
from the trumpeting sound of the shofar and the joyous shouts of him and his
friends. Hopefully he would find his bride excited and ready to be taken back
to their new house to start the seven day wedding celebration.
The imagery created all throughout the gospels would not
have escaped the ordinary Jewish citizen. As the bride of Christ, we are
waiting with anticipation the day when our groom will come back to get us, but
in the waiting there is a stewardship that is expected, a diligence in
following Jesus’ commands. The Bible is so multi-faceted that we are all at one
time children, servants, friends, bride and disciples of Christ, just to name a
few! Part of the joy of relationship with God is finding out what each of these
roles look like for us as individuals and as a whole body of believers. It’s a
mystery and a journey but if we seek Him, we will find Him. Even though I’ve
found Him, there is so much more of Him to discover that I find myself, in the
words of Heidi Baker, fully satisfied and ravenously hungry.
