Amazing Stuff

"In the days of the prophet Elijah, there arose a company of men who were called the "sons of the prophets". These men traveled throughout the world ravaging the powers of darkness, wreaking havoc on evil kingdoms. They had no tolerance for the destructive behaviour of wicked kings but rather turned many to righteousness. They raised the dead, healed the sick, parted rivers, destroyed false prophets and saw revival spread throughout their land. They were feared by many and respected by all. The walked in great purity; and God was their friend.

"Today, all around us, wickedness continues to grow, taking root in the lives of those we love and eroding the very foundation of our country. Satanism is spreading like wildfire. Psychics laugh in the face of the church as they demonstrate the power of the dark side. Divorce is destroying our families and violence is corrupting our children. Sickness and disease take the lives of so many. Yet the words of our Lord Jesus echo through the halls of history, "...he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these will he do; because I go to the Father" (John 14:12).

"In Acts 3:25, Peter says, "It is you who are the sons of the Prophets..." It is time for the Body of Christ to rise up and receive our inheritance! We must rid ourselves of complacency and restore the ancient boundaries of holiness and demonstrations of great power. We cannot be satisfied with illustrative sermons, great music and friendly services. We have been called to see the powers of darkness destroyed and our ruined cities restored.

"In the days of Moses, God demonstrated his power to Pharaoh, but Pharaoh counter-attacked by having his sorcerers duplicate the miracles of God. Then the God of Heaven, who has all power, performed extraordinary miracles so that even the sorcerers said, "This must be God. We cannot perform these miracles." Finally Pharaoh was overcome by God's power and let His people go. (See Exodus 7-12)

"I believe that the Pharaoh of this age is about to let go of our cities as God demonstrates His raw power through His church. We are in the midst of the greatest revival in human history. Yet there remains a distance between what should be and what will be.

"That distance is you! What will you be?

"You are the bridge between history and His story.

"You are the sons of the prophets!"

- Introduction for Kris Vallotton's "Basic Training for the Prophetic Ministry"

This says it all! I am so honoured to be learning from men such as Kris who are training people from all over the world to carry the presence of God. They teach us what should be taught in all churches, but for many various reasons are not. I'm excited to go out from Bethel equipped as a daughter of the prophets!!

The odds are already ever in my favour - my Dad's got my back!!

A Revelation

It's a fascinating thing. Here at Bethel we have a Bible reading plan as part of our course readings. We started with the gospels and now we're going into the epistles. At first, I was reading out of duty. I wanted to tick the boxes with integrity that I had completed the readings, but I was not yet captured by the Word. I have more of an awareness now about reading with the Spirit and expecting Him to reveal something new or relevant to me. My interest in the Word has picked up. But over these past few weeks we've been reading a text book called "Grasping God's Word" and this is, surprisingly, where my reading has deepened. It was after the chapters on reading sentences, paragraphs and discourses where I discovered the most insight. These chapters teach the reader to analyse the language first. Not the meaning at this stage, but the words. Look for and identify things such as figures of speech, repetition, cause and effect, pronouns and who they're referring to, active or passive or future verbs and so on. At first I thought this was a waste of time and I did the assignments because I had to. But then the next day when I read my Bible, I started looking into these features. I started noticing them and paying attention. And I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I started understanding the scripture more realistically. I was engaging with the text. I felt like the Bible was finally alive!! All through the analysis of language. Weird. But cool!

So now the Bible readings have become less of a chore and more fun. It's funny because I wasn't even trying to enjoy it - I was just doing my homework. I didn't even read the text book that diligently. I just did the bare minimum. Yet God still desires to meet me. He doesn't care about how much homework I do - He just wants a chance to hang out. And it was in  my morning Bible reading time that I received this revelation that I would like to share with you all! First, let's read Galatians 1:11-17

"I [Paul] want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ. 

For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it. I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers. But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being. I did not go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went to Arabia. Later I returned to Damascus."

First - Paul didn't receive the gospel from any man. This is definitely not prescriptive for us in every setting, but it struck me. Paul is saying this to the Galatians because they started believing silly things - another gospel. Paul was letting them know that what he was preaching them had come straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. But sometimes I forget that people can receive a revelation of Jesus through the Holy Spirit - without humans delivering the message. At times I'm skeptical when I hear the experiences of these people, and I'm concerned with what doctrine they believe in, or if they believe enough to be fully saved, or if they've prayed 'the prayer'. I started wondering why we get so caught up in all these 'extras'. Sure, they might be important things to know - but if they were essential for the person to know right then and there - then I'd like to trust the Holy Spirit to reveal the necessary doctrine to people in the right time. It's my job to be sensitive to Holy Spirit to ask what I can share with the person that is going to outwork God's love in their life. It's my job to encourage them; not burden them. I wonder if this is why Paul said, "my immediate response was not to consult any human being."

Joseph's Dreams 

Let's think about this for a bit. Joseph in the Bible had his dreams of him family bowing down to him. He told his family about this and his brothers hated him and his father rebuked him. Now we had no idea of knowing how things would have worked out differently - but I suspect that if Joseph had have kept those dreams to himself, then maybe his rise to royalty would have followed a different path? Jesus had to lead the blind man outside the village to heal him. Why? I suspect that the unbelief in the village at Bethsaida was holding the man back from his healing. After the man was healed Jesus told him, "Don't go and tell anyone in the village." That's weird. Unless the people had the power to talk him out of his miracle... Life and death is in the power of the tongue.

Jesus had to lead the
man outside the village

Jesus had people in his village not believe he was the Messiah because he was familiar to them. People tried to get him to prove who he was on demand. Even satan tried, "If you are the son of God..." He tried to get Jesus to perform for what was already his. Just a few verses earlier the Heavens were rent and a voice from Heaven declared that Jesus was God's son. Jesus knew who he was and when satan tried to get him to prove it - there was no need. He had the dove, or presence of God on his shoulder. He knew his identity. But what about the rest of us? We're still on that journey. How many times do our past mistakes come back to haunt us? How many people out there refuse to accept that we have changed - still believing in what our actions told them we were? The first thing the devil does is try to take away our identity as children of the Most High. He tries to get us to doubt what Jesus has done for us. Then once we're on that track - he takes his hands off the wheel and our shame or guilt or introspection will click us into cruise control all the way down, down, down. No wonder Paul didn't go to human counsel right away. In a matter of days he went from murdering and imprisoning Christians to preaching to them and teaching them the gospel! I'm not naive enough to expect that all the Christian leaders would have been like, "Oh, cool! Great to see you Saul, oh sorry, you go by Paul now. Um, ok, well, here is my family - they're all here because they're so excited that you've changed. Wow. Praise God." Yeah right. That's the oldest trick in the book. It took Paul over three years before he met with any of the apostles!! Sure, he would have had some interaction with Christian leaders - but think about it. They only had letters and word of mouth. The initial chain of contact would have been very slow moving. And people would have been on watch waiting for Paul to show his true colours for a while. There was a good reason why Paul didn't talk to any humans about this for a while, outside of what the Spirit was leading him to do. There's a good chance they could have turned him against his conversion. There's a good chance he could have started doubting what God was calling him into. 

Sometimes God will reveal something to us that is not ready to be shared with other humans. We don't know why - and most of the time we don't need to know why. It's the sovereignty of God to be mysterious and our excitement to seek Him out. It's important to ask Holy Spirit if what He is revealing is for sharing or treasuring. Many leaders I respect will tell testimonies that include them holding on to revelations for years before sharing them. Dreams are tricky because we want to share the excitement with others, but then sometimes people aren't at the same part of their journey as you and can just as easily (unintentionally) talk you out of your dreams. I'm learning to ask the One who exists outside of time. The One who can see all things at once in all eternity. Who better to ask than the One who can give you the best option for that time? It's a new level of dependence that I'm discovering. Not because I'm incapable, but because I want to live the best life I can - and why would I not ask advice from the all-knowing One? 

I love this journey I'm on. It's exciting. It's unpredictable. It's intimate. It's revelatory. It's unbelievable. And the best thing is - you can have it too. Don't waste time 'getting right' with God - Jesus already did that part for you. Just open up your heart and say, "Daddy God, what do you want to tell me today?" And just listen and believe.

What is Holy Spirit revealing to you?

A New Operating System

1 week ago this ground was all dead...

It's November 4 and I'm sitting outside on this beautiful morning so grateful that we can have this gorgeous weather for a little while longer. About 3 weeks ago it rained for the first time in 8 months here. When I arrived in early September, the only green grass to be found were in properties that were well watered overnight. Everything else was dead and yellow. But now, three weeks after the first rain our backyard already has a green tinge. It's autumn, but it feels like spring. The oaks in our yard don't change colour - they just lose their leaves, but they've still got a healthy foliage. The sky is blue and streaked with whispy clouds. I've noticed that since I've been here I'm becoming more awed by natural beauty. Landscapes, mountain ranges, changing leaves, birds and their songs... As my heart is slowly being turned towards the One who loves me beyond my comprehension, so too, is my mind learning to recognise the gifts he has given all of his cherished ones. Each encounter with my God is one that brings me to a deeper understanding of how much He actually loves me! His love is transforming me. I start seeing myself doing things that I never thought were 'me'. And the best thing is - it feels completely natural!

Here's a testimony from recent events in my life.

I came to Bethel knowing that I didn't have enough money to see me through the 9 months here. I felt like it was something God was cool with, and I have never needed to see God come through for me with miraculous finances before. He's always given me a job immediately when I've needed money, so I thought it was time for me to take the next step in our relationship. It was time to learn to trust my Abba. (This is a personal testimony and I came to this conclusion out of relationship with God. It was not a 'test' for Him, but an opportunity for me to grow closer to Him through learning to trust Him.) 

Ok. So a couple of months went by and no financial miracles yet. I was admittedly a bit scared and resigned to the fact that if I accidentally screwed up in my understanding of God's talking with me, then that's cool - I'll just fly home... Now I'm accustomed to working for what I need. I don't have the luxury of rich parents, so my survival has always been up to me financially. Being in a country where I am not allowed to work is really hard for me because there is no way I can provide for myself! But as I would seek God's opinions on this matter, I always heard that I should relax and let Him take care of me. This was not easy. So I would go to people and ask them to pray with me (to see if they heard differently from God...) They all felt like God was saying to relax and trust Him - He's my Dad with unlimited resources and it's His pleasure to carry me through this season! Wow! As beautiful as that was - it was really difficult to swallow! Me? Worthy of that much attention from Him? I went through a series of revelations from Him about my identity as a daughter of His. That God, Himself, provided a way for all people to become as children of His through Jesus' death and resurrection. Finally I had come home to where I belong!

After this time I was more at peace about God providing but curious as to how He'd come through. I've heard a wise man say, "You can never out give God" and I always desired to be a generous person. But what God started to reveal to me was, that I was generous but only with people I knew and liked and who would be responsible with what I gave them. I thought that I was a good steward, that those were responsible decisions. But God challenged me. He asked me if I would give money to someone He prompted me to give to even if I knew they would not use the money wisely. I asked Him back if that would be wise stewardship. He challenged me further as to whether the limited money I could possibly give away to 'irresponsible' people could possibly affect the riches of Heaven... Ooh. He got me there. He then went on to explain that generosity has everything to do with compassion, following the leading of the Spirit and our heart as opposed to where the money is actually going. This was happening at a time where many students here were asking people for money to cover their tuition. My attitude at the time was that it's their responsibility to provide their tuition. That if they couldn't pay it off, then maybe they shouldn't be here... But then God reminded me of my situation... Ouch. I was all happy to give to my friends' tuition, but there were people there I didn't really know yet and I was not going to give them anything. Until God showed up. He challenged my attitude and then told me that if I gave $20 to this one person's tuition (this was a person who really irked me) then that would be the key to my financial breakthrough. I was like, God! That's not fair - you can't blackmail me! And He replied, I know, I'm teaching you. Ok. When you put it like that... I told Him that I'm only doing it cos He told me to, and I'm not in the state where I can be a 'cheerful giver'. He told me it didn't matter my attitude - the provision had already been made. The next day I paid the money and then Holy Spirit prompted me to look at my New Zealand bank account. Now, I haven't been in NZ for 2 years, but I've checked the account heaps of times hoping and praying for some sort of miracle. But I hadn't checked it for a few months. I opened the page and there was $86 in there!! What the?! Dividends from shares I had sold two years ago... Wow! All I could do was laugh. I mean, sure. Maybe the payment would have come through if I didn't give the $20, but then again...

So, at this stage I had enough money to pay my rent for November and now with this extra money I could probably see myself eating for that month too. I did, however, need a couple of extra winter clothes (due to only being able to bring 23kg with me!) So I decided that I could spend $100 on these things and that would leave me a little bit extra for fun times or whatever. I went to the shops and found some great bargains (thanks God!) and I was walking to my car when this young guy asked, "Hey, can you spare some money for a bus fare?" to which I did the head down, purse grab mumbled, "No, sorry." But then Holy Spirit spoke. "Go back and help him out." to which I replied in my head, "But he'll probably just spend it on drugs or whatever." to which Holy Spirit replied, "Do what you feel is best but you should go back and help him."

So I turned around and called him back and asked him what He needed. He explained that he got stranded here because these guys were robbing him and he was fighting them when the police came and arrested him. He lives in Southern California and had no job here and no way to get home. He was really embarrassed that he was reduced to asking for money to get back home. I thought (or maybe Holy Spirit said) that this would be an opportunity for me to show God's love to a perfect stranger who could most definitely use any money I gave him irresponsibly. I asked him when he wanted to leave and he said as soon as possible - had all his belongings in his backpack. So I took him to the bus station to see how much a ticket would be and when he could leave. Unfortunately it was Sunday and the ticket sales weren't open. I also found out that a ticket would be $130 but I only had $60 left (other than the money still in NZ). I told him such and he said that there's an organisation here in Redding that will help out with bus fares - if he comes up with half the money then they'll supply the rest in bus vouchers. All this time we had been chatting - he told me about his family, his work, his study dreams and his desire to hear from God personally (he was already a believer of Jesus). When we realised the bus depot was shut I then took him to his mate's house and took the plunge and decided I was going to give him the $60 in cash. We prayed before he left and it was such a cool time to hang out with God. The funny thing was, that although I was left with $6 in my account, I was not worried. My rent was paid for the all of November - so that left God 30 days to help me continue my journey here at Bethel. 

I went home and told all of my housemates the story - I was still buzzing at the craziness of what I did... It was cool. It felt like I was truly representing Jesus - which was a beautiful feeling! Just before bed I felt to check my USA bank account, which earlier that day showed only $6 left. I could not believe my eyes when I opened the page and there was $400 in there!! What?! Are you kidding me? I was totally overwhelmed by God's provision! It was at that moment where all residual fear of not having enough to last my time here disappeared. My Abba showed up. He gave me enough to survive another month. I was given the opportunity to trust Him and He is faithful. The funny part is that it's all things I knew but was yet to experience. There is nothing like an encounter with my God. Nothing at all can come close. 

I now understand generosity. I understand giving through compassion and the leading of Holy Spirit. He knows best. It's learning to be sensitive to those things that we would usually pass on by. It's not that we always give in order to receive, but more that we give because we have been given to! There's an element of both (farmers don't sow seed not expecting a harvest) and the best way to find out is to ask Holy Spirit what He thinks. I'm coming to realise that He always knows best.

Father's Love

Four weeks of school have passed. I can't accurately relate the level of learning I have been going through. It's just like living in a green house with regular doses of fertiliser to extend the growth even more.We always have two or so books on the go that we're required to read, as well as a mammoth text book, "Grasping God's Word" that we need to be reading chapter by chapter and also reading allocations of the Bible throughout all of this. I'm pretty sure that I've already done more reading in this first four weeks than I did all throughout my teaching degree... (no comment necessary!)

The main theme I have been learning is the importance of having a relationship with God like that of a son or daughter and simultaneously allowing Him to work in us to remove the orphan mindset that all humans are born with and replacing our orphaned spirits with His Spirit - the Spirit that gives life. Let me explain a little more.

In one of my previous blogs (Orphans or Heirs?) I talked about this, but at that point it was an interesting topic that was close to my heart. But now, I'm realising that I'm still dealing with orphan issues. Even though I grew up knowing that God loved me - it was only in the last two years that I learned that God also liked me. He thought I was fun. He liked hanging out with me. I knew God loved me. He has to. It's His job. It's what He does. He's in the love business. But like? There are so many scriptures about God's love, but where are the scriptures about God's like? Who did He like? What did He like about them? I don't know. David's heart? Abraham's faith? Isaiah's prophesies? Gideon's weaknesses? The trouble is, when we look to Old Testament people, we don't get an accurate view of God's relationship to us. You see, the Old Testament or the Old Covenant is just that. Old. Man was still separated from a personal relationship with God because of sin. There are exceptions who managed to break through and have a friendship with God, but not many. Remember that The Law, or Covenant, was made between God and Moses for the Israelites. Before Moses, the people lived under Grace. There was no sacrifice for sin before the Law. Repentance, yes. Sacrifice, no. And let me clear something up quickly. Repentance is changing our thinking. It's realising that our current behaviour or beliefs are wrong and we need the Spirit of Truth to help us replace those unhelpful misbeliefs into God's truth. Repentance is not sacrifice anymore.

Under the Law the people had to offer a blood sacrifice for their sins. That is, until Jesus came in our place. "Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world" (Jn 1:29) is how John the Baptist announced Jesus. Jesus came from Heaven, to live as a man, so that all of the world - past, present and future - might have access to God our Father. Jesus lived a perfect life. And died a sacrificial death not only that we may go to Heaven, but more importantly that we will be reunited with our Dad.

Jesus is perfect theology. If we believe anything about the Father that we don't see in Jesus, then we need to search the Spirit for His answer to our questions. Ok. I hear your thoughts. What about all the killing and wrath and anger in the Old Testament? God told the Israelites to kill entire nations. I haven't studied into this much so I'm not prepared to speculate. But what I do know is what the Bible says. Hebrews 9 mentions that when you have a will - you need to prove the death of the one who made it for it to come into effect. Jesus died so that the old will, the old covenant, would be fulfilled. Therefore a new will, or new covenant was made and this is demonstrated through the words of Jesus. While He was on earth he was proclaiming what? The will of the Father. The new covenant. But you can't have two wills in place. The new one overwrites the old one. The old one is null and void. If a rich grandpa dies and his two children are at the lawyer's office both holding different versions of their father's will - which one will be accepted? The latest one. Usually the previous one gets destroyed so there is no conflict of interest.

In the case of the Bible, the old covenant is made redundant, but it is contained in the history and chronicles of Israel. God is just. He is wise. He is good. This is not to say that he doesn't experience any other forms of emotions, on the contrary - He is as emotional as us. Or maybe it's better to say that we are as emotional as Him - we are created in His image. But He knows how to manage His emotions. We, however, are still learning. So sometimes we look at God in the Old Testament and put our own emotions into his words or actions and build a picture of Him in our minds. Maybe we think God is scared of sin. He can't be near it. This is true. But the good news is that Jesus already paid our price for sin!! We still sin, but the consequences of sin have been paid for!! We are no longer separated from God by sin. Not on his part anyway. The slate has been wiped clean. The price is paid. It is finished.

The problem comes when we think that our sin separates us.That we're too 'dirty' to be friends or children of God. Those thoughts there are the only thing that will separate you from a relationship with Father God. The Bible tells us that nothing can separate us from God's love (Romans 8:39). But we are perfectly capable of separating ourselves and distancing ourselves from His love. He'll never stop loving us, but as long as we feel we don't deserve it - we will struggle to believe and feel it. Let's look at a typical example with foster children. Often they go through life where people love them conditionally. When they do the right thing. When they say the right words. When they look just right. Whatever. They learn very quickly that they are unlovable (in their opinion). They believe nobody wants them. They believe they can't do anything right. And so that's who they become. Until someone takes them in who loves them for how God sees them. Someone who loves them for who they were destined to be. Something that people from good homes think will change their lives and turn their behaviour around. But it doesn't happen. Often these children have experienced good things, or blessings, with a price. Nothing ever comes for free. Heard that before? Often, these children don't know how to cope with this unconditional love because they've never experienced it before. They don't understand it. They don't believe it. They get suspicious. They will likely run away because they can't stand waiting for the moment when something is required of them. The more goodness they receive - the higher the price. It's all they've ever known. But in time, with wisdom and nurture, they will start to understand that nothing is required. They get food because they are part of the family. They get an allowance because they belong. They can have a close, trusting relationship with their new parents because their new parents already loved them before they could perform for love. The parents already decided that this child would be loved no matter what. If the child ran away, the parents would always keep looking. That there would be no anger. No punishment. There would be loving discipline and teaching.

This is how it works with an ideal foster family in this sinful world. How much more does our Dad long to gather us into himself and love on us. He doesn't do punishment anymore - He doesn't have to. Jesus took our punishment. There's this thing called double jeopardy and if you don't know what it means, it means that you can't be charged twice for the same crime. There is a movie based around this theme where a lady gets framed for her husband's murder and she goes to prison and serves her sentence. When she gets out she finds out he's alive and goes out to kill him. When she kills him, she can't go to jail again because she was already found guilty of murdering her husband and already served her time for it. Jesus already 'served our time'. He paid the price for EVERY sin - past, present and future. So if we are waiting for God to punish us for our sins - it's not going to happen. If we think that God is punishing us - you're loyal to a lie. God will not punish us for something that's already been punished.

So, if you're avoiding sin because you're avoiding punishment - make your next moves very carefully. Our motivation for not sinning should not be avoiding punishment - it should be to maintain relationship. I need to get to a place where I see that my sins affect other people as well as myself. Lying to someone is not loving them. Lying to myself is not loving me. If I'm loyal to lies then it's likely that I will feel distant from my Dad in heaven. Not because He can't come near my sin, but because I have an understanding of Him that's not real. But when we mess up, instead of going all internal and getting down on ourselves for sinning, try this. Try imagining yourself in front of God. Lift your eyes up, and say sorry. Ask Him to show you where you went wrong. Ask Him to expose the lie you were believing. Listen to His Spirit. He will tell you. Sometimes it's good to go through this process with a friend too. Ask Him for His truth that will replace the lie and start living life according to that truth. 

I'm in the place where I need to let God's truth sink into my very being. Instead of running away when He showers me with goodness that I feel I don't deserve, I should run to Him and ask Him to replace those thoughts with His truth. The fact of the matter is - none of us deserve what Jesus did. So the fact that we can receive this gift for no other reason than God loves us - means also that there's nothing we can do to lose that gift. I want to release an encounter with God upon you that you might experience the wonderful goodness of God's love. That you won't run, or question it, or expect that He's going to ask you to pay up. Relax in it. Crawl into His lap and understand that you are His child and He already gave His son so that you might be in relationship with Him forever.

Is God moody?

I've recently been introduced to the idea that God is always in a good mood. But being in a good mood doesn't necessarily mean that He's always happy.
Hmm... There's a thought right there.
When I did the Living Wisdom counseling course with David Riddell, we learned about moods and emotions. There is a state of being called a default mood. This mood is what you feel when you're not experiencing any other emotions. It's like our screen saver for our life. It can be positive or negative and you can train yourself out of a negative into a positive. Let me give you an example. If I have a default mood of feeling overwhelmed, then maybe while I am out with my friends I can have a good time, I can enjoy myself, but when I get home the feeling of being overwhelmed slots in and I will spend any down time stressed and trying to avoid being overwhelmed. Maybe my kid does something naughty and I go into angry mode for a bit, but once it settles down and is sorted out then I flip back into feeling overwhelmed, maybe spending time thinking about how much trouble my kids are causing me or whatever. A default mood is what you revert to when you're not experiencing any other emotion.

Often, our default moods are negative, but they can just as easily be positive. But it's difficult to have a positive and helpful default mood if your self confidence, or identity is in anyone else other than God, our Dad. I've worked with many hundreds of children over the years, some in church, some on camps, many in schools and I can see very clearly those who know they are loved and those who have to earn their love or are unaware of people's love for them. You can tell by their default mood. Who are they when they're not doing anything? Who are they when they're not experiencing other emotions? How do they see themselves? It's the same with us and our Dad in Heaven. If we are not sure of His love and affection for us, it's very difficult to have a positive default mood.
Luckily God doesn't have that problem. He's got great self-esteem. He's perfectly aware of His capabilities. He's in love with all of His children. He works with a great team of people. How could He not be in a good mood all the time?

Ok, let's go a little deeper. I can hear you say that the Bible has records of God experiencing emotions such as wrath, jealousy, compassion, sorrow, joy, anguish etc and this is completely true. We are created in our Father's image. We experience the same emotions as He does. The difference is - He doesn't let His emotions change His mood. Selah. (That means think about and dwell on this statement.

Here are some examples that should illustrate what I mean.
Let's say we have a couple of parents that love their children and want the best for them. Mum gets a phone call from school saying that her daughter has badmouthed her teacher. If Mum's default mood is not a good one, then it's likely that this disappointing news will affect the rest of her day. And the rest of the family know to stay out of Mum's way when she's in a bad mood. Mum will wait for Dad to come home from work and then they will decide on a punishment to make sure that their daughter understands that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. Now obviously this is a very loose example of family life, but it's the way I see many families working.
Now, if mum's default mood is positive, then she will be disappointed at the choices their daughter made, but it's not going to affect the rest of her day because she knows the daughter is responsible for her own messes and is responsible to fix them herself. Mum will wait for Dad to come home so they can work with their daughter as she figures out how she can fix the mess and mend the breach of respect or whatever.
Our Dad is always in a good mood because even though He experiences other emotions, He doesn't respond to us out of hurt or disappointment - He always respond out of love. He will always discipline with a level head. And He always disciplines for our good, not to teach us a lesson. Punishment and discipline are different. Punishment is done out of fear and discipline is done out of love.
Here's another example from a different point of view. Let's look at young children and their interactions. Let's consider the little boy who is playing with a toy and another kid snatches it off him. A second ago he is happy. Now he is devastated. But as soon as the offender gives him back his toy, all is forgiven. I'm not sure it's forgotten but I want to hazard a guess that it is. Why? Because I never hear a four year old bring up old offences as an excuse to have a bad day. I have not witnessed a young child sitting alone dwelling on the time their toy was snatched. Children in secure homes always start with a positive default mood. (Now tiredness is not part of a default mood - it's just part of growing up.) Children learn from their environments what kind of moods are acceptable. I heard a 12 year old girl tell me that life was going to be  hard for her parents when she turned 16. I asked her why and she told me that she was going to be a moody teenage girl. When I told her that she was able to choose whether her moods were good or bad, she had no idea what I was  talking about. I think I'm beginning to see why Jesus tells us to become like little children. Their lives are so less complicated and they have this uncanny ability to trust their caregivers to do what needs to be done. What will it take for us to trust our Dad like that?

Our trouble is when we start making God out to be like us, rather than us becoming more like Him. When we have an incomplete picture of God's nature, then we start filling in the gaps with what we know - which is us and our moods and emotions. For so long the church (as a whole) has seen God as judgemental, afraid of sin and waiting to unleash His wrath upon the world. Now the Father's love is spreading across the world, but it's still in the state of having one foot in each camp. People know that God loves us unconditionally, yet they still think that sin separates us from Him. If we are born again, then we have to believe the Word of God when it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Rom 8:38). All sin from the beginning of time until the end of time has been forgiven through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our co-heir of the Kingdom of Heaven.

God is perfectly capable of dealing with our issues and it not affecting His mood. He is saddened by those who take the life of others, but He still loves them. His heart aches for them. But His mood is not affected. He is in a good mood all the time. He operates with a clear head and disciplines out of love. Our trouble is when we look at how God interacted with the Israelites in the Old Testament. What we see of God in the OT is different to what we see of God in the New Testament. Is this because He has changed? No. God is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). But how He disciplines us is different. Not because He has changed, but because He added Jesus into the mix. Let's look at this through an example. Say I have a few biological children and we decide to adopt a foster child. Now my expectations for the foster child are going to be very different from those for my biological children. Am I the same person? Yes. Do I have the same long term goals for all my children? Yes. Is my mode of discipline consistent with all my children? No. Is it fair for me to punish a child for a misdemeanour already repented of and sorted out? Not at all. So how can we think that God is still punishing us for our sins when they've already been forgiven? He doesn't!! But if we choose not to see His good mood, or receive His unconditional love, then we will forever be trying to avoid sin so we can commune with Him. Let me tell you - it's no longer about sin*. Sin is finished. It's dealt with. It no longer separates us from Him. It's about relationship with Him. The more we focus on strengthening our relationship with the Holy Spirit, Jesus and Daddy God, then less we sin. I don't know how it works - but it does.

My heart's desire is that all people can  know and understand God's unconditional love for us. That he loves us so much that He will discipline us in love and comfort us through the growing process. That He's always in a good mood and just like a parent delights in the excitement and joy of their child - God in His perfection delights to a higher standard! I want people to be able to receive the goodness and favour of their Heavenly Dad especially when they feel they don't deserve it!! It's not easy. But I'm learning. I invite you into this glorious state of relaxing in His love, no striving, no earning. At first it feels wrong. But that's only if you value your feelings more than the voice of the Holy Spirit. I want to walk in His Presence and learn to be like my Dad - to be in a good mood all the time.

* We still sin, as an action, but we are no longer seen as 'sinners' if we are born again. Our focus should be on keeping our relationship in tact with God and others around us - repenting at a breach of friendship or trust - not repenting to get 'back in' to Heaven. It doesn't work like that any more.

What's the point?

I've been reflecting a lot lately about Christianity. I've followed Jesus my whole life, and that's great for me, but there are a lot of people out there who don't think that they're good enough to deserve the unconditional love of a Father in Heaven. Or maybe they don't like the idea of having to be 'dependent' on another person. Maybe their their experience of God has been negative due to interacting with broken people in a broken world. Or maybe they don't want to become affiliated with a legalistic, judgmental, graceless society of people. Here's something that most people don't seem to get: just because people call themselves Christian doesn't automatically make them a nice person. Simply believing in God is not enough for our humanness to be changed. And here's the reason. It's not even that difficult to grasp. In fact, it's likely you might even agree with me. We're all human. Wow. Deep. But what do you mean by that? I hear you ask.

Ok. Like I said earlier, simply believing in God will not change us. Christians, like everyone else, make mistakes. The unfortunate thing is where someone in leadership is raised to the point where it seems to their 'followers' that they could not possibly make a mistake, because they are 'chosen by God' to lead, and God would only choose someone infallible to lead His 'flock'. Well yes. You're right. But there's only been one infallible leader chosen by God to lead His flock. That is Jesus. He left us many parables, allegories and good advice in the Bible and it's up to us to read it according to how it was intended. What? The Bible is not literal? Women are allowed to speak in churches? We should spit on blind people to heal them? We have to hate our Mother and Father to follow Christ? Ok. Here it is. Some of the Bible is literal. Some of it is metaphorical and a lot of it is specific to the culture of that time. It's our responsibility to read the Bible alongside the Holy Spirit. He is the Teacher. He knows the intentions of the scripture and will reveal its intended meaning if we ask Him. There are so many contradictions in the Bible but the important thing to understand is that they're not inconsistencies, they are a divine invitation to commune with the omniscient One and listen for His revelation. If you expect Him, He will come. I believe it is due to this misunderstanding that so many leaders have got it wrong. Why has the protestant church split into so many denominations? I believe it's due to disagreements on doctrine. What is doctrine? Our fundamental beliefs as a Christian. What do we base these on? The teachings in the Bible. So what happens when people don't interpret the Bible with the Holy Spirit? They get their own ideas and think that they are more enlightened with the current leader and so they revolt and take 1/3 of the church with them and start another one. Great. But you can see that these leaders are still human. They still make mistakes, and that's ok.

You see, there's a couple of wonderful verses that take out all the sting when you feel like a leader has mislead you. Here is how James (3:1&2) "My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers will be judged more strictly than others. All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body." (Italics mine) Let's face it. Teachers/pastors/leaders will make mistakes. But it's on their shoulders. God's going to address them in those matters. He is the fair Judge - I've decided to let Him deal with those who are (even unintentionally) misleading others. Here's another one in Matthew 18:6 "It will be terrible for people who cause even one of my little followers to sin. Those people would be better off thrown into the deepest part of the ocean with a heavy stone tied around their necks!" Note he doesn't say that whoever deliberately leads one to sin... Ultimately it's our responsibility to read the Bible with the Holy Spirit so that we are aware if the teacher gets it wrong. And if they do - so what? You can talk to them about it (out of love), and if they don't agree, then you can make a prayerful decision about what to do. This is a better option than giving up on God and the Church and trying to find meaning in the monotony that we call life. The saddest part is when people blame it on God to get out the easy way. You know what? Sometimes it's not God calling us to another church, it's just our fear of confrontation talking to us. (But it sounded an awful lot like God... Yes. That's because often God sounds an awful lot like you. Be careful not to get the two mixed up!)

Anyway. Like I said earlier. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a Christian. For many years I just thought it was because God loves us and wants us to live forever in Heaven with Him. Which is 100% true. But just because it's true doesn't make it the complete story. Yes, we (humans) were condemned to death due to our sin (breaking God's law). There isn't any of us who has never lied, stolen, been jealous or rebellious. Many of us haven't been adulterous or murderers or abusers, but there are thousands who have. And all of us at some stage have broken rule number one by having a higher value for some earthly thing than our God. This is inevitable. We're human. But then there was one, fully God in his deity, yet completely human in his existence on earth and here is the Good News. He lived and died for us, as us. He lived a perfect life on our behalf. How? He was completely human. How is that possible? By living in communion with the Holy Spirit. Jesus only did what he saw his Father doing. He only said what he heard his father saying. He came to earth to do the will of his Father. And he did it with perfection. He died for no earthly reason. But in Heaven it meant everything. This perfect man died so that we could live forever with him. At the point of resurrection all our sin, sickness and torment was paid for. Forever. For too long Satan had dominion over the earth (given to him by Adam and Eve) but Jesus took it back. For us. For our freedom. Why? Because "God so loved the world" (italics mine). Why? Because "your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." Why? "that they may have life to the full." Why? "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these"
                                          How?
Jesus told his disciples in John 14 about the Spirit of Truth, our advocate. He is here to help us and be with us forever, he will live inside us and that is how we will know him. We were designed to follow Jesus as the disciples did. To imitate him. To bear his anointing. To be covered by his mantle. To take his yoke. All of these are references to the relationship between a Rabbi and his followers. Hey guys - if you believe in Jesus then that means us. We should be compelled to follow his lead. And if he evangelised the Father's love with signs, wonders and miracles the guess what? That is what we have access to.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning anyone who doesn't believe they are called to witness testify to the Father's love in this way, but I encourage you to search the scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit what his take on this matter is. I, for one, was a bit nervous about this train of thought at first. Why should I desire miracles? Shouldn't my focus be on God? Yes. But what I am beginning to understand is that there is a difference between focusing on God and invoking the Presence of the Holy Spirit. Having the Holy Spirit in us is part of being born again and filled with the Spirit. But what I am learning is that this idea of being 'filled' or 'baptised' in the Spirit was never meant to be a one time event, it's supposed to be continuous. And this is where the supernatural presence of God, our Dad, the lover of our souls, delights in his children when they perform miracles and signs and wonders for his glory. There such great joy in the Father's heart when he sees his children operating to their potential. How do I know this? Because the same is true of earthly parents. There is such pride and joy when their children operate to their gifting and strengths with diligence and enjoyment. And think about how Jesus compares our heavenly Father to our earthly one and claims how much greater the love of our Dad in heaven is for us.

I want the world to know the Good News. Not the OK news that I used to believe in. The "ah, it's cool for you to believe in Jesus but it's just not for me" news is no longer an option for me. When we tell people that Jesus died for their sins that's only half of the Gospel. He didn't die just so we could go to heaven. If that was the case, then it would be a simple thing for God to offer the choice of Heaven or Hell on death's door and people could choose then. No. He offers us a fulfilled life of sharing the Gospel with power, just like the apostles. Jesus paid for a life free from torment, free from sickness and redeemed sinners. Our identity is no longer in our sin, but in Christ's righteousness. This is what qualifies the unqualified. Jesus died so we could live like he did and bring Heaven to earth. Some people see that as a terrible thing. I'm not so sure that Jesus would have directed us to pray for "Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." (Italics mine) if he didn't mean for the Kingdom of Heaven to invade earth... I am no longer content to simply believe that the apostles were solely responsible for the outpourings of the Holy Spirit during the times of the early church. God is the same yesterday, today and forever and so He still wants his love brought into the world with power. He's given us the Holy Spirit, our guide, teacher and advocate to draw us into his word; to discover his nature; to do his will on earth as it is in Heaven. This makes me responsible to find out what is going on in Heaven and to do it. Even at the cost of my own pride. Maybe at the cost of my dignity (loaded term here - I'm thinking of David dancing before the Lord). Bill Johnson says that God will never violate his word, but he might violate my understanding of it. Let's make sure then, that what we are reading is being interpreted by the Holy Spirit for this moment, right now. I'm no longer content to live in ignorance because it's easy. I want to be known by God. I want the Spirit of God to rest on my shoulders and for lives to be transformed by His Presence. I know it's a big call, but He's invited me to His banquet table. How can I refuse?

Awakening

Awaken my soul, come awake.

To hunger, to seek, to thirst 

Awaken first love, come awake 

And do as you did, at first 

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me, 

Come wake me from my sleep. 

Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow. 

This song, Fall Afresh, is by Jeremy Riddle and has fast become one of my favourites. It's the cry of my heart that is just now becoming realised. 

It's a weird thing to have been a believer all my life, having heard God speak to me, follow his leading yet only now beginning to have an awareness of cultivating a relationship with the Holy Spirit. And when I think back over many a church service, there doesn't seem to be many sermons that prioritise such a relationship either. Don't get me wrong - churches believe in being 'filled' with the Spirit, but not necessary cultivating the 'presence', or 'glory' of the Spirit.

Churches are very vocal on relationship with Jesus, accepting his death and resurrection for our sins, following his call into whatever form of ministry he leads you to, and being a servant to him. They are also vocal about seeing God as Father, as a good God, as the Almighty, Omnipresent, Omnipotent and Omniscient One. But when it comes to the Holy Spirit, it's more of a recognition of our power here on earth rather than a person that we can get to know. We all know that the Spirit lives in us if we are born again, but I never knew that the Presence of the Holy Spirit can be upon us as well. 

This brings me to how I have previously interpreted our 'first love' experience that so many pastors are calling us back to. I was fully aware of experiences of people who had come to know Jesus in their teenage years or later. Usually there was some kind of encounter and they became so hungry for the truth that they appear tenacious in their worship and pursuit of God. For me, however, I asked Jesus into my heart at 6 years old, and I remember the day exactly. I was baptised at 10 years old and remember asking my parents if I could get baptised because that's what Jesus said to do and I wanted to follow him. Jesus was so real to me, but what I realise now is that I was lacking an encounter.

I never strayed in my belief of God. His provision was too real to ignore. The behaviours of the world were not enticing because I could see the baggage that came with such choices. I thought such things were obvious to most people, but now I think that God rewarded me for my passion for wisdom. But because of this, I didn't need an invasion of love to come and flood my life - so I didn't chase it. Jesus said that he who is forgiven much, loves much, but at my tender age of six [point of conversion] I wasn't too aware of my sins. And also as I was growing up there were not any major repentance times and so, again, I was not in need of a revelation of God's forgiveness. This led to a life of mediocrity. Well, I didn't see it as mediocre then, but with the revelation I've since had I have realised I wasn't living "life to the full". Don't get me wrong - I was a good Christian. I was showing God through my actions and my words. I grew in my boldness of sharing (what I thought was) the gospel to people I worked with. I was pretty good at introspection and finding the unhelpful habits or behaviours that needed God to operate on. I served in Sunday school, attended church weekly (including life groups) so I thought I was doing pretty well.

What I couldn't verbalise then, but what I know now was that I had an unrest in my spirit. I felt like there should be more to life and I think I just put that feeling down to not being married yet - like there was still something missing, but because I was a Christian and had the Spirit in my heart then it was a more worldly issue. This is where my year in Indonesia became key. God set me up. He knew that if He could strip away all my worldly possessions then He'd have me where he wanted me. I often had the 'call' or yearning to spend time with Him, but there was always something better to do: doing my washing, cleaning my room, anything really. But here there was nothing else to do. Nowhere to go. No one to see who I hadn't just been to see. Basically - I'm going to be honest here - I was bored enough to spend time with God. There were no other options. Most of my time was initially spent listening to podcasts from Bethel pastors or reading books from Bethel authors. But as the revelations started flowing, I started to branch out and seek God's face without these scaffolds. It was in this time that I decided that I wasn't getting as much out of the books as I would like. It is hard to chase God without an unforgettable encounter and I was yet to have one of those. I decided that if I were to go to Bethel then there would be people there who could mentor me into a more spirit-led lifestyle.

I'm not sure if other people feel or have felt like this, but I kept feeling like it was wrong to chase a supernatural lifestyle. It was like I was living in two minds. Part of me felt fulfilled and relieved that there was more to the Christian life than I was experiencing, but then there were strong echos of being a 'peverse generation', or evil people looking for a 'sign of Jonah' or something. The good thing about doing the Living Wisdom course with David Riddell and listening to the podcasts helped me understand that not all truth is created equal. Of course there are absolute truths, but I was now aware that Satan can tell the truth if it suits him. This was news to me. But let's think about this. Satan used scripture to try to tempt Jesus in the desert. Is the Bible truth? Yes. Does it stay truth when quoted for the good of the Devil? No. So the Bible (in itself) is not absolute truth unless we are reading it exactly as the Holy Spirit intended. Yes, these thoughts of chasing signs and wonders being indicative of a perverse and wicked generation, but if they're used in context then they don't apply to me here. I choose to look at the verses of the disciples coming in power and bringing the gospel, of their supernatural lifestyles that are available to us when we commune with the Holy Spirit.

We are all supernatural beings. Our essence is spiritual. Our flesh is what keeps us on earth; it's our overcoat; a qualifier to live in this world. If we can grasp that we are first spiritual and second flesh, then our perspective changes. When we are born again (accept what Jesus died for and that he was raised to life by the power of the Holy Spirit) then our focus should change. We are suddenly adopted into God's family. We become his child. Our focus should no longer be on earthly things, but on heavenly things. This is what it means to die to self. For us to adopt God's opinion of us (despite the pleas of our earthly nature which tend to fight against our righteous status); to care more about pleasing God than pleasing our flesh; and who desire to co-partner with Christ and bring a revelation of the Father's love through the power of the Holy Spirit. For me, it is a continual battle to do these things, but since I have been living in Redding, surrounded by thousands of like-minded people, it gets easier. And I've had to learn, that God doesn't mind if we take the easy road to Him. After all, He wants to draw us near to Him, and He provides the ways that we can choose. Sometimes we need to act our way into a new way of thinking, and other times we will think our way into a new way of acting. That will feel hypocritical to most people, but it's not. Sometimes we don't have all the connections we are comfortable with to start living the lifestyle we're called to, but that's where we need to step out in faith and decide who it is we want to be, and if we're not that person yet, then just start doing what that person would do and in time, with a pure motive, the Holy Spirit will work with us and change us bit by bit into that new person. This is part of stepping out in faith. It's making the unseen seen, it's creating a new identity.

So for me, here, I am learning from the spiritual 'giants' in this city. Apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists and pastors who hunger daily for the presence of the Holy Spirit. Up until now I wasn't so aware that there was a difference between the presence of the Spirit in our hearts and the manifest presence of the Spirit. Well, I could see when the Spirit 'turned up' but didn't understand that I could deliberately cultivate a relationship with him in a similar way to having a dove resting on my shoulder. If there is no or little focus on the manifest presence of the Spirit in our daily lives, then it's easy to forget the One that should be our closest companion. This brought new light to the scripture "do not grieve the Holy Spirit". When I started to think of the Spirit as a person, I was able to see how much I'd been ignoring him. What I am understanding now is that God wants to co-partner with us in bringing His love to the world. And that's why he gave us the Holy Spirit - to enable us to share with power and love. What more effective way for a Father to show his love to his lost children that to heal their pain. Is there a more personal show of affection than for the God of all to heal insignificant little ailments like colds, headaches, crooked fingers, sprained wrists - sometimes without even praying. Is there much that can rival such a furious love that is demonstrated by casting out demons, growing internal organs - some that were never there in the first place - lengthening bones, destroying cancers. Is there anything that speaks a Father's delight in his children louder than sending clouds of gold dust, giving precious gems, sending miraculous provision sometimes for no apparent need or reason. I think of parents that blow bubbles for their kids. Why? To see their children having fun, to enjoy life with them. There's no hidden agenda. No one looks at a Dad blowing bubbles for his little girl and asks, why are you doing that? You could be teaching her how to read, or do math, or tie her shoe laces. No one accuses the father of wasting his time. Not when they can see the love that is shared and the joy that is expressed. I have just had a paradigm shift and wonder if that is how God feels when he blows gold dust into a glory cloud. "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him." (Matt 7:10-12)

In this time in the 'land of the giants' I am learning to relax. I am learning to embrace what the Spirit is saying. I'm prepared to be confronted on my prior beliefs or understandings and form new pathways in my mind if necessary. The Bible is not a manual for living. It's an expose on the heart of the Father. It should lead us to his heart. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and we can only get to the Father through him. Therefore I am committing my life to living in the way Jesus did. As Bill Johnson says, if he lived his life as God, then I would stand amazed, but if he lived his life as a human - then I am compelled to follow his lead. 

Is healing for today?

Something that I’ve been trying to figure out is the sensitive issue of healing. I know that I can never completely understand it and its intricacies, but it’s more my approach to healing that I’m not so sure about.

For many years I have attended churches that believe in healing – but as a seemingly sporadic event. It’s great for people who have a healing ministry, or for those people gifted with the gift of faith, or for the people who it is obviously God’s will to heal.  But what about genetic disorders? How about accidental injuries? Psychosomatic causes? Is anything too hard, too deserved, too small for God to worry about? Does God pick and choose people to be healed based on some sort of invisible tick list? Is it all about faith? Is it all about God’s timing? If the person doesn’t get healed does that mean that it’s not God’s will to heal them?

These are all questions I have floating around in my head, and they usually surface when I feel led to pray for someone. I think the only thing we can do is look at the scriptures and how Jesus and his disciples conducted healings.

It seems to me, that everything that Jesus did and said was to point us to the Father. Prior to, and during Jesus’ life on earth, the Jews had been following the Law – the Ten Commandments plus! The Israelites had so many laws and restrictions that made them clean and acceptable and kept them out of prison and it was the Pharisees that policed all these laws. They were accustomed to a God who could not stand sin and was often displayed as the angry God who very few people could get close to. It was Jesus’ mission to come to earth and demonstrate the love of God, rather than the wrath. All the healings, the teachings, the deliverances were all designed to bring the people into an understanding of the Father’s love.

John 11:4 tells us that Lazarus’ resurrection was for God’s glory. So too, in John 9:3 Jesus says that the man was born blind not because of his [the man’s] sins or his parents’ sins, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. Jesus said that he only does what he sees the Father doing – and Jesus is a shepherd, who cares for and leads his sheep. Jesus wipes out the ‘Law’ (what the Pharisees were upholding) and replaces it with these two commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” (Mat 22:37-39)

In my previous blog entry I paralleled the love of God as an adoptive parent with that of an earthly adoptive parent. Let’s extend this next thought to anyone who is a parent or carer. Let’s take a wayward child, someone who has made some poor choices and has run away from home. I imagine this would devastate loving parents. All they would want is to have relationship restored with their child. I don’t know if any parent with the best interests of their child would wish calamity upon them [the child]. Now, don’t get me wrong – oftentimes calamity will often accompany poor choices, I’m not saying that the parents are not aware of the impending strife. But surely, there is no parent who wishes their child would contract AIDS to stop them being promiscuous? Or is it reasonable to expect that paralysis is a befitting state for a child prone to drink driving? What about developing a cancer as a result of bitterness? These claims sound outrageous, yet we often claim that God is fathering us just like this. I just can’t agree with this frame of mind.

I am thinking now of the prodigal son and how the father ran to him and showered him with gifts. The older son had access to these gifts and didn’t need to run away to get them. Now this is not how the story goes, but I would hazard a guess that what the father was hinting at when he said, “My son, you were always with me, and everything I have is yours.” He said everything I have is yours – you always had access to these, you just didn’t take me up on it, you didn’t ask me. When Jesus ascended he told his disciples that all authority in Heaven and on Earth was his (Mat 28:18) and then sent them out in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This means that Jesus gave the disciples, and us, access to his authority. I don’t want to be the daughter who sits at home doing nothing because I’m not aware of what I have access to. I don’t want to be the person who when Jesus asks what have I done with the talents (gifts/tools/access) he gave me I tell him I buried them in a field because I didn’t know what to do with them.

Now let’s look at God’s will on healing. There are no reported cases in the New Testament where Jesus didn’t heal people who approached him. There was one time with the Syrophoenician woman where Jesus told her she had to wait until the Jews had eaten their fill (Mark 7). But when she refutes him he is amazed and heals her. Do I think she stole her healing? No. Do I think she changed Jesus’ mind? Maybe. What I do know is that we can’t use this as an example for God not healing because Jesus had not yet died for our sins and released our healing. Therefore, it was completely up to what God was doing in Heaven. Maybe Jesus had this interaction for our benefit, so that we too might grasp at everything God has given us. Maybe it was because she had no pre-conceived ideas about the Messiah (because she wasn’t Jewish) and therefore approached Jesus as one who could heal, not through a distorted lens.  At the end of the day, we won’t really know the reason behind this, but what we do know is that all the people Jesus prayed for were healed, delivered, cleansed, forgiven or raised from the dead. When Jesus was questioned about his ability to heal the demon possessed boy he answered, “If you can? Everything is possible for the one who believes.” This is such an absolute statement that I can’t help but play it out in my mind and find out what God has for us.

Let’s look for a bit at Mark 6. This is where Jesus could not do any miracles in his home town because they couldn’t believe that their Jesus, the carpenter, could have such wisdom and authority. All he could do was lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. Ok. So it doesn’t say that he laid hands on them and they weren’t made well. It said he couldn’t do miracles. But if Jesus only did what he saw his father doing, then why couldn’t he perform miracles? Jesus was amazed at their lack of faith. Yet he also said that all you need is faith as small as a mustard seed to move mountains. So the Nazarenes must have had no faith in Jesus at all.

When the disciples couldn’t cast out the demons in the boy in Mark 9 and Matthew 17, they asked Jesus why and there are two recorded answers. The answer in Matthew 17 was that they had so little faith and that all they needed was faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains. The answer in Mark said that this type can only come out by prayer and fasting. I am going to say what I feel the Holy Spirit is revealing to me. I imagine that the disciples were accustomed to having a pretty good track record by this time. I am thinking that people were delivered and healed quite instantaneously. Maybe in this instance the demon didn’t come out straight away and they just gave up. Maybe their lack of faith was not seeking the Spirit again on how to approach this deliverance. Now, that’s not a fair assessment because the Holy Spirit had not yet been given to them, but maybe it’s just that they didn’t try again. They gave up. Now that’s only Aimee’s interpretation – I’m just sharing what I feel in regards to this and my healing journey.

In the New Testament the word splagchnizomai [Greek for compassion] is used only in Matthew, Mark and Luke 12 times. Out of those 12 times, ten times are referring to Jesus having compassion on a person or people, and the other two times are once for the father of the prodigal son and once for the Good Samaritan. I think this is key, as these are two of the main parables used to describe amazing love. Jesus showed amazing love and compassion when he died for our sins – releasing our healing from that moment on. By his stripes we were healed. Jesus wanted the apostles to continue his legacy healing, delivering, resurrecting, cleansing etc. That is why he sent us the Holy Spirit. Some people believe that miracles were only for the apostles in growing the early church. Then why is the Holy Spirit still with us?

Jesus said to the disciples in Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth.” There is no way that the apostles could have covered ‘to the ends of the earth’ so that responsibility has been passed down to us. It’s our job. And I can’t believe it’s God’s will to heal some and not others. I think it’s become a convenient excuse for us not to press in to God and access all he has given us for our fear of disappointment. We have lost our trust in the goodness of God to protect our egos. We have lost sight of the father-heart of God as we make excuses for prayers that seem to affect nothing. I don’t have all the answers, and I never will. But I do know that the more I press in to God, the more I will hear him and the more people will be healed. I don’t know why some people don’t get immediately healed – I don’t need to know why either. But I do know that it’s not God’s will for them to be sick. So, until I get to Heaven and meet my saviour face to face, I want to pursue a lifestyle he will be proud of, one that emulates him, one that sets me apart as a follower of Christ.