Is God moody?

I've recently been introduced to the idea that God is always in a good mood. But being in a good mood doesn't necessarily mean that He's always happy.
Hmm... There's a thought right there.
When I did the Living Wisdom counseling course with David Riddell, we learned about moods and emotions. There is a state of being called a default mood. This mood is what you feel when you're not experiencing any other emotions. It's like our screen saver for our life. It can be positive or negative and you can train yourself out of a negative into a positive. Let me give you an example. If I have a default mood of feeling overwhelmed, then maybe while I am out with my friends I can have a good time, I can enjoy myself, but when I get home the feeling of being overwhelmed slots in and I will spend any down time stressed and trying to avoid being overwhelmed. Maybe my kid does something naughty and I go into angry mode for a bit, but once it settles down and is sorted out then I flip back into feeling overwhelmed, maybe spending time thinking about how much trouble my kids are causing me or whatever. A default mood is what you revert to when you're not experiencing any other emotion.

Often, our default moods are negative, but they can just as easily be positive. But it's difficult to have a positive and helpful default mood if your self confidence, or identity is in anyone else other than God, our Dad. I've worked with many hundreds of children over the years, some in church, some on camps, many in schools and I can see very clearly those who know they are loved and those who have to earn their love or are unaware of people's love for them. You can tell by their default mood. Who are they when they're not doing anything? Who are they when they're not experiencing other emotions? How do they see themselves? It's the same with us and our Dad in Heaven. If we are not sure of His love and affection for us, it's very difficult to have a positive default mood.
Luckily God doesn't have that problem. He's got great self-esteem. He's perfectly aware of His capabilities. He's in love with all of His children. He works with a great team of people. How could He not be in a good mood all the time?

Ok, let's go a little deeper. I can hear you say that the Bible has records of God experiencing emotions such as wrath, jealousy, compassion, sorrow, joy, anguish etc and this is completely true. We are created in our Father's image. We experience the same emotions as He does. The difference is - He doesn't let His emotions change His mood. Selah. (That means think about and dwell on this statement.

Here are some examples that should illustrate what I mean.
Let's say we have a couple of parents that love their children and want the best for them. Mum gets a phone call from school saying that her daughter has badmouthed her teacher. If Mum's default mood is not a good one, then it's likely that this disappointing news will affect the rest of her day. And the rest of the family know to stay out of Mum's way when she's in a bad mood. Mum will wait for Dad to come home from work and then they will decide on a punishment to make sure that their daughter understands that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. Now obviously this is a very loose example of family life, but it's the way I see many families working.
Now, if mum's default mood is positive, then she will be disappointed at the choices their daughter made, but it's not going to affect the rest of her day because she knows the daughter is responsible for her own messes and is responsible to fix them herself. Mum will wait for Dad to come home so they can work with their daughter as she figures out how she can fix the mess and mend the breach of respect or whatever.
Our Dad is always in a good mood because even though He experiences other emotions, He doesn't respond to us out of hurt or disappointment - He always respond out of love. He will always discipline with a level head. And He always disciplines for our good, not to teach us a lesson. Punishment and discipline are different. Punishment is done out of fear and discipline is done out of love.
Here's another example from a different point of view. Let's look at young children and their interactions. Let's consider the little boy who is playing with a toy and another kid snatches it off him. A second ago he is happy. Now he is devastated. But as soon as the offender gives him back his toy, all is forgiven. I'm not sure it's forgotten but I want to hazard a guess that it is. Why? Because I never hear a four year old bring up old offences as an excuse to have a bad day. I have not witnessed a young child sitting alone dwelling on the time their toy was snatched. Children in secure homes always start with a positive default mood. (Now tiredness is not part of a default mood - it's just part of growing up.) Children learn from their environments what kind of moods are acceptable. I heard a 12 year old girl tell me that life was going to be  hard for her parents when she turned 16. I asked her why and she told me that she was going to be a moody teenage girl. When I told her that she was able to choose whether her moods were good or bad, she had no idea what I was  talking about. I think I'm beginning to see why Jesus tells us to become like little children. Their lives are so less complicated and they have this uncanny ability to trust their caregivers to do what needs to be done. What will it take for us to trust our Dad like that?

Our trouble is when we start making God out to be like us, rather than us becoming more like Him. When we have an incomplete picture of God's nature, then we start filling in the gaps with what we know - which is us and our moods and emotions. For so long the church (as a whole) has seen God as judgemental, afraid of sin and waiting to unleash His wrath upon the world. Now the Father's love is spreading across the world, but it's still in the state of having one foot in each camp. People know that God loves us unconditionally, yet they still think that sin separates us from Him. If we are born again, then we have to believe the Word of God when it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Rom 8:38). All sin from the beginning of time until the end of time has been forgiven through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our co-heir of the Kingdom of Heaven.

God is perfectly capable of dealing with our issues and it not affecting His mood. He is saddened by those who take the life of others, but He still loves them. His heart aches for them. But His mood is not affected. He is in a good mood all the time. He operates with a clear head and disciplines out of love. Our trouble is when we look at how God interacted with the Israelites in the Old Testament. What we see of God in the OT is different to what we see of God in the New Testament. Is this because He has changed? No. God is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). But how He disciplines us is different. Not because He has changed, but because He added Jesus into the mix. Let's look at this through an example. Say I have a few biological children and we decide to adopt a foster child. Now my expectations for the foster child are going to be very different from those for my biological children. Am I the same person? Yes. Do I have the same long term goals for all my children? Yes. Is my mode of discipline consistent with all my children? No. Is it fair for me to punish a child for a misdemeanour already repented of and sorted out? Not at all. So how can we think that God is still punishing us for our sins when they've already been forgiven? He doesn't!! But if we choose not to see His good mood, or receive His unconditional love, then we will forever be trying to avoid sin so we can commune with Him. Let me tell you - it's no longer about sin*. Sin is finished. It's dealt with. It no longer separates us from Him. It's about relationship with Him. The more we focus on strengthening our relationship with the Holy Spirit, Jesus and Daddy God, then less we sin. I don't know how it works - but it does.

My heart's desire is that all people can  know and understand God's unconditional love for us. That he loves us so much that He will discipline us in love and comfort us through the growing process. That He's always in a good mood and just like a parent delights in the excitement and joy of their child - God in His perfection delights to a higher standard! I want people to be able to receive the goodness and favour of their Heavenly Dad especially when they feel they don't deserve it!! It's not easy. But I'm learning. I invite you into this glorious state of relaxing in His love, no striving, no earning. At first it feels wrong. But that's only if you value your feelings more than the voice of the Holy Spirit. I want to walk in His Presence and learn to be like my Dad - to be in a good mood all the time.

* We still sin, as an action, but we are no longer seen as 'sinners' if we are born again. Our focus should be on keeping our relationship in tact with God and others around us - repenting at a breach of friendship or trust - not repenting to get 'back in' to Heaven. It doesn't work like that any more.

What's the point?

I've been reflecting a lot lately about Christianity. I've followed Jesus my whole life, and that's great for me, but there are a lot of people out there who don't think that they're good enough to deserve the unconditional love of a Father in Heaven. Or maybe they don't like the idea of having to be 'dependent' on another person. Maybe their their experience of God has been negative due to interacting with broken people in a broken world. Or maybe they don't want to become affiliated with a legalistic, judgmental, graceless society of people. Here's something that most people don't seem to get: just because people call themselves Christian doesn't automatically make them a nice person. Simply believing in God is not enough for our humanness to be changed. And here's the reason. It's not even that difficult to grasp. In fact, it's likely you might even agree with me. We're all human. Wow. Deep. But what do you mean by that? I hear you ask.

Ok. Like I said earlier, simply believing in God will not change us. Christians, like everyone else, make mistakes. The unfortunate thing is where someone in leadership is raised to the point where it seems to their 'followers' that they could not possibly make a mistake, because they are 'chosen by God' to lead, and God would only choose someone infallible to lead His 'flock'. Well yes. You're right. But there's only been one infallible leader chosen by God to lead His flock. That is Jesus. He left us many parables, allegories and good advice in the Bible and it's up to us to read it according to how it was intended. What? The Bible is not literal? Women are allowed to speak in churches? We should spit on blind people to heal them? We have to hate our Mother and Father to follow Christ? Ok. Here it is. Some of the Bible is literal. Some of it is metaphorical and a lot of it is specific to the culture of that time. It's our responsibility to read the Bible alongside the Holy Spirit. He is the Teacher. He knows the intentions of the scripture and will reveal its intended meaning if we ask Him. There are so many contradictions in the Bible but the important thing to understand is that they're not inconsistencies, they are a divine invitation to commune with the omniscient One and listen for His revelation. If you expect Him, He will come. I believe it is due to this misunderstanding that so many leaders have got it wrong. Why has the protestant church split into so many denominations? I believe it's due to disagreements on doctrine. What is doctrine? Our fundamental beliefs as a Christian. What do we base these on? The teachings in the Bible. So what happens when people don't interpret the Bible with the Holy Spirit? They get their own ideas and think that they are more enlightened with the current leader and so they revolt and take 1/3 of the church with them and start another one. Great. But you can see that these leaders are still human. They still make mistakes, and that's ok.

You see, there's a couple of wonderful verses that take out all the sting when you feel like a leader has mislead you. Here is how James (3:1&2) "My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers will be judged more strictly than others. All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body." (Italics mine) Let's face it. Teachers/pastors/leaders will make mistakes. But it's on their shoulders. God's going to address them in those matters. He is the fair Judge - I've decided to let Him deal with those who are (even unintentionally) misleading others. Here's another one in Matthew 18:6 "It will be terrible for people who cause even one of my little followers to sin. Those people would be better off thrown into the deepest part of the ocean with a heavy stone tied around their necks!" Note he doesn't say that whoever deliberately leads one to sin... Ultimately it's our responsibility to read the Bible with the Holy Spirit so that we are aware if the teacher gets it wrong. And if they do - so what? You can talk to them about it (out of love), and if they don't agree, then you can make a prayerful decision about what to do. This is a better option than giving up on God and the Church and trying to find meaning in the monotony that we call life. The saddest part is when people blame it on God to get out the easy way. You know what? Sometimes it's not God calling us to another church, it's just our fear of confrontation talking to us. (But it sounded an awful lot like God... Yes. That's because often God sounds an awful lot like you. Be careful not to get the two mixed up!)

Anyway. Like I said earlier. I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a Christian. For many years I just thought it was because God loves us and wants us to live forever in Heaven with Him. Which is 100% true. But just because it's true doesn't make it the complete story. Yes, we (humans) were condemned to death due to our sin (breaking God's law). There isn't any of us who has never lied, stolen, been jealous or rebellious. Many of us haven't been adulterous or murderers or abusers, but there are thousands who have. And all of us at some stage have broken rule number one by having a higher value for some earthly thing than our God. This is inevitable. We're human. But then there was one, fully God in his deity, yet completely human in his existence on earth and here is the Good News. He lived and died for us, as us. He lived a perfect life on our behalf. How? He was completely human. How is that possible? By living in communion with the Holy Spirit. Jesus only did what he saw his Father doing. He only said what he heard his father saying. He came to earth to do the will of his Father. And he did it with perfection. He died for no earthly reason. But in Heaven it meant everything. This perfect man died so that we could live forever with him. At the point of resurrection all our sin, sickness and torment was paid for. Forever. For too long Satan had dominion over the earth (given to him by Adam and Eve) but Jesus took it back. For us. For our freedom. Why? Because "God so loved the world" (italics mine). Why? Because "your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." Why? "that they may have life to the full." Why? "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these"
                                          How?
Jesus told his disciples in John 14 about the Spirit of Truth, our advocate. He is here to help us and be with us forever, he will live inside us and that is how we will know him. We were designed to follow Jesus as the disciples did. To imitate him. To bear his anointing. To be covered by his mantle. To take his yoke. All of these are references to the relationship between a Rabbi and his followers. Hey guys - if you believe in Jesus then that means us. We should be compelled to follow his lead. And if he evangelised the Father's love with signs, wonders and miracles the guess what? That is what we have access to.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning anyone who doesn't believe they are called to witness testify to the Father's love in this way, but I encourage you to search the scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit what his take on this matter is. I, for one, was a bit nervous about this train of thought at first. Why should I desire miracles? Shouldn't my focus be on God? Yes. But what I am beginning to understand is that there is a difference between focusing on God and invoking the Presence of the Holy Spirit. Having the Holy Spirit in us is part of being born again and filled with the Spirit. But what I am learning is that this idea of being 'filled' or 'baptised' in the Spirit was never meant to be a one time event, it's supposed to be continuous. And this is where the supernatural presence of God, our Dad, the lover of our souls, delights in his children when they perform miracles and signs and wonders for his glory. There such great joy in the Father's heart when he sees his children operating to their potential. How do I know this? Because the same is true of earthly parents. There is such pride and joy when their children operate to their gifting and strengths with diligence and enjoyment. And think about how Jesus compares our heavenly Father to our earthly one and claims how much greater the love of our Dad in heaven is for us.

I want the world to know the Good News. Not the OK news that I used to believe in. The "ah, it's cool for you to believe in Jesus but it's just not for me" news is no longer an option for me. When we tell people that Jesus died for their sins that's only half of the Gospel. He didn't die just so we could go to heaven. If that was the case, then it would be a simple thing for God to offer the choice of Heaven or Hell on death's door and people could choose then. No. He offers us a fulfilled life of sharing the Gospel with power, just like the apostles. Jesus paid for a life free from torment, free from sickness and redeemed sinners. Our identity is no longer in our sin, but in Christ's righteousness. This is what qualifies the unqualified. Jesus died so we could live like he did and bring Heaven to earth. Some people see that as a terrible thing. I'm not so sure that Jesus would have directed us to pray for "Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." (Italics mine) if he didn't mean for the Kingdom of Heaven to invade earth... I am no longer content to simply believe that the apostles were solely responsible for the outpourings of the Holy Spirit during the times of the early church. God is the same yesterday, today and forever and so He still wants his love brought into the world with power. He's given us the Holy Spirit, our guide, teacher and advocate to draw us into his word; to discover his nature; to do his will on earth as it is in Heaven. This makes me responsible to find out what is going on in Heaven and to do it. Even at the cost of my own pride. Maybe at the cost of my dignity (loaded term here - I'm thinking of David dancing before the Lord). Bill Johnson says that God will never violate his word, but he might violate my understanding of it. Let's make sure then, that what we are reading is being interpreted by the Holy Spirit for this moment, right now. I'm no longer content to live in ignorance because it's easy. I want to be known by God. I want the Spirit of God to rest on my shoulders and for lives to be transformed by His Presence. I know it's a big call, but He's invited me to His banquet table. How can I refuse?

Awakening

Awaken my soul, come awake.

To hunger, to seek, to thirst 

Awaken first love, come awake 

And do as you did, at first 

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me, 

Come wake me from my sleep. 

Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow. 

This song, Fall Afresh, is by Jeremy Riddle and has fast become one of my favourites. It's the cry of my heart that is just now becoming realised. 

It's a weird thing to have been a believer all my life, having heard God speak to me, follow his leading yet only now beginning to have an awareness of cultivating a relationship with the Holy Spirit. And when I think back over many a church service, there doesn't seem to be many sermons that prioritise such a relationship either. Don't get me wrong - churches believe in being 'filled' with the Spirit, but not necessary cultivating the 'presence', or 'glory' of the Spirit.

Churches are very vocal on relationship with Jesus, accepting his death and resurrection for our sins, following his call into whatever form of ministry he leads you to, and being a servant to him. They are also vocal about seeing God as Father, as a good God, as the Almighty, Omnipresent, Omnipotent and Omniscient One. But when it comes to the Holy Spirit, it's more of a recognition of our power here on earth rather than a person that we can get to know. We all know that the Spirit lives in us if we are born again, but I never knew that the Presence of the Holy Spirit can be upon us as well. 

This brings me to how I have previously interpreted our 'first love' experience that so many pastors are calling us back to. I was fully aware of experiences of people who had come to know Jesus in their teenage years or later. Usually there was some kind of encounter and they became so hungry for the truth that they appear tenacious in their worship and pursuit of God. For me, however, I asked Jesus into my heart at 6 years old, and I remember the day exactly. I was baptised at 10 years old and remember asking my parents if I could get baptised because that's what Jesus said to do and I wanted to follow him. Jesus was so real to me, but what I realise now is that I was lacking an encounter.

I never strayed in my belief of God. His provision was too real to ignore. The behaviours of the world were not enticing because I could see the baggage that came with such choices. I thought such things were obvious to most people, but now I think that God rewarded me for my passion for wisdom. But because of this, I didn't need an invasion of love to come and flood my life - so I didn't chase it. Jesus said that he who is forgiven much, loves much, but at my tender age of six [point of conversion] I wasn't too aware of my sins. And also as I was growing up there were not any major repentance times and so, again, I was not in need of a revelation of God's forgiveness. This led to a life of mediocrity. Well, I didn't see it as mediocre then, but with the revelation I've since had I have realised I wasn't living "life to the full". Don't get me wrong - I was a good Christian. I was showing God through my actions and my words. I grew in my boldness of sharing (what I thought was) the gospel to people I worked with. I was pretty good at introspection and finding the unhelpful habits or behaviours that needed God to operate on. I served in Sunday school, attended church weekly (including life groups) so I thought I was doing pretty well.

What I couldn't verbalise then, but what I know now was that I had an unrest in my spirit. I felt like there should be more to life and I think I just put that feeling down to not being married yet - like there was still something missing, but because I was a Christian and had the Spirit in my heart then it was a more worldly issue. This is where my year in Indonesia became key. God set me up. He knew that if He could strip away all my worldly possessions then He'd have me where he wanted me. I often had the 'call' or yearning to spend time with Him, but there was always something better to do: doing my washing, cleaning my room, anything really. But here there was nothing else to do. Nowhere to go. No one to see who I hadn't just been to see. Basically - I'm going to be honest here - I was bored enough to spend time with God. There were no other options. Most of my time was initially spent listening to podcasts from Bethel pastors or reading books from Bethel authors. But as the revelations started flowing, I started to branch out and seek God's face without these scaffolds. It was in this time that I decided that I wasn't getting as much out of the books as I would like. It is hard to chase God without an unforgettable encounter and I was yet to have one of those. I decided that if I were to go to Bethel then there would be people there who could mentor me into a more spirit-led lifestyle.

I'm not sure if other people feel or have felt like this, but I kept feeling like it was wrong to chase a supernatural lifestyle. It was like I was living in two minds. Part of me felt fulfilled and relieved that there was more to the Christian life than I was experiencing, but then there were strong echos of being a 'peverse generation', or evil people looking for a 'sign of Jonah' or something. The good thing about doing the Living Wisdom course with David Riddell and listening to the podcasts helped me understand that not all truth is created equal. Of course there are absolute truths, but I was now aware that Satan can tell the truth if it suits him. This was news to me. But let's think about this. Satan used scripture to try to tempt Jesus in the desert. Is the Bible truth? Yes. Does it stay truth when quoted for the good of the Devil? No. So the Bible (in itself) is not absolute truth unless we are reading it exactly as the Holy Spirit intended. Yes, these thoughts of chasing signs and wonders being indicative of a perverse and wicked generation, but if they're used in context then they don't apply to me here. I choose to look at the verses of the disciples coming in power and bringing the gospel, of their supernatural lifestyles that are available to us when we commune with the Holy Spirit.

We are all supernatural beings. Our essence is spiritual. Our flesh is what keeps us on earth; it's our overcoat; a qualifier to live in this world. If we can grasp that we are first spiritual and second flesh, then our perspective changes. When we are born again (accept what Jesus died for and that he was raised to life by the power of the Holy Spirit) then our focus should change. We are suddenly adopted into God's family. We become his child. Our focus should no longer be on earthly things, but on heavenly things. This is what it means to die to self. For us to adopt God's opinion of us (despite the pleas of our earthly nature which tend to fight against our righteous status); to care more about pleasing God than pleasing our flesh; and who desire to co-partner with Christ and bring a revelation of the Father's love through the power of the Holy Spirit. For me, it is a continual battle to do these things, but since I have been living in Redding, surrounded by thousands of like-minded people, it gets easier. And I've had to learn, that God doesn't mind if we take the easy road to Him. After all, He wants to draw us near to Him, and He provides the ways that we can choose. Sometimes we need to act our way into a new way of thinking, and other times we will think our way into a new way of acting. That will feel hypocritical to most people, but it's not. Sometimes we don't have all the connections we are comfortable with to start living the lifestyle we're called to, but that's where we need to step out in faith and decide who it is we want to be, and if we're not that person yet, then just start doing what that person would do and in time, with a pure motive, the Holy Spirit will work with us and change us bit by bit into that new person. This is part of stepping out in faith. It's making the unseen seen, it's creating a new identity.

So for me, here, I am learning from the spiritual 'giants' in this city. Apostles, prophets, teachers, evangelists and pastors who hunger daily for the presence of the Holy Spirit. Up until now I wasn't so aware that there was a difference between the presence of the Spirit in our hearts and the manifest presence of the Spirit. Well, I could see when the Spirit 'turned up' but didn't understand that I could deliberately cultivate a relationship with him in a similar way to having a dove resting on my shoulder. If there is no or little focus on the manifest presence of the Spirit in our daily lives, then it's easy to forget the One that should be our closest companion. This brought new light to the scripture "do not grieve the Holy Spirit". When I started to think of the Spirit as a person, I was able to see how much I'd been ignoring him. What I am understanding now is that God wants to co-partner with us in bringing His love to the world. And that's why he gave us the Holy Spirit - to enable us to share with power and love. What more effective way for a Father to show his love to his lost children that to heal their pain. Is there a more personal show of affection than for the God of all to heal insignificant little ailments like colds, headaches, crooked fingers, sprained wrists - sometimes without even praying. Is there much that can rival such a furious love that is demonstrated by casting out demons, growing internal organs - some that were never there in the first place - lengthening bones, destroying cancers. Is there anything that speaks a Father's delight in his children louder than sending clouds of gold dust, giving precious gems, sending miraculous provision sometimes for no apparent need or reason. I think of parents that blow bubbles for their kids. Why? To see their children having fun, to enjoy life with them. There's no hidden agenda. No one looks at a Dad blowing bubbles for his little girl and asks, why are you doing that? You could be teaching her how to read, or do math, or tie her shoe laces. No one accuses the father of wasting his time. Not when they can see the love that is shared and the joy that is expressed. I have just had a paradigm shift and wonder if that is how God feels when he blows gold dust into a glory cloud. "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him." (Matt 7:10-12)

In this time in the 'land of the giants' I am learning to relax. I am learning to embrace what the Spirit is saying. I'm prepared to be confronted on my prior beliefs or understandings and form new pathways in my mind if necessary. The Bible is not a manual for living. It's an expose on the heart of the Father. It should lead us to his heart. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and we can only get to the Father through him. Therefore I am committing my life to living in the way Jesus did. As Bill Johnson says, if he lived his life as God, then I would stand amazed, but if he lived his life as a human - then I am compelled to follow his lead. 

Is healing for today?

Something that I’ve been trying to figure out is the sensitive issue of healing. I know that I can never completely understand it and its intricacies, but it’s more my approach to healing that I’m not so sure about.

For many years I have attended churches that believe in healing – but as a seemingly sporadic event. It’s great for people who have a healing ministry, or for those people gifted with the gift of faith, or for the people who it is obviously God’s will to heal.  But what about genetic disorders? How about accidental injuries? Psychosomatic causes? Is anything too hard, too deserved, too small for God to worry about? Does God pick and choose people to be healed based on some sort of invisible tick list? Is it all about faith? Is it all about God’s timing? If the person doesn’t get healed does that mean that it’s not God’s will to heal them?

These are all questions I have floating around in my head, and they usually surface when I feel led to pray for someone. I think the only thing we can do is look at the scriptures and how Jesus and his disciples conducted healings.

It seems to me, that everything that Jesus did and said was to point us to the Father. Prior to, and during Jesus’ life on earth, the Jews had been following the Law – the Ten Commandments plus! The Israelites had so many laws and restrictions that made them clean and acceptable and kept them out of prison and it was the Pharisees that policed all these laws. They were accustomed to a God who could not stand sin and was often displayed as the angry God who very few people could get close to. It was Jesus’ mission to come to earth and demonstrate the love of God, rather than the wrath. All the healings, the teachings, the deliverances were all designed to bring the people into an understanding of the Father’s love.

John 11:4 tells us that Lazarus’ resurrection was for God’s glory. So too, in John 9:3 Jesus says that the man was born blind not because of his [the man’s] sins or his parents’ sins, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. Jesus said that he only does what he sees the Father doing – and Jesus is a shepherd, who cares for and leads his sheep. Jesus wipes out the ‘Law’ (what the Pharisees were upholding) and replaces it with these two commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” (Mat 22:37-39)

In my previous blog entry I paralleled the love of God as an adoptive parent with that of an earthly adoptive parent. Let’s extend this next thought to anyone who is a parent or carer. Let’s take a wayward child, someone who has made some poor choices and has run away from home. I imagine this would devastate loving parents. All they would want is to have relationship restored with their child. I don’t know if any parent with the best interests of their child would wish calamity upon them [the child]. Now, don’t get me wrong – oftentimes calamity will often accompany poor choices, I’m not saying that the parents are not aware of the impending strife. But surely, there is no parent who wishes their child would contract AIDS to stop them being promiscuous? Or is it reasonable to expect that paralysis is a befitting state for a child prone to drink driving? What about developing a cancer as a result of bitterness? These claims sound outrageous, yet we often claim that God is fathering us just like this. I just can’t agree with this frame of mind.

I am thinking now of the prodigal son and how the father ran to him and showered him with gifts. The older son had access to these gifts and didn’t need to run away to get them. Now this is not how the story goes, but I would hazard a guess that what the father was hinting at when he said, “My son, you were always with me, and everything I have is yours.” He said everything I have is yours – you always had access to these, you just didn’t take me up on it, you didn’t ask me. When Jesus ascended he told his disciples that all authority in Heaven and on Earth was his (Mat 28:18) and then sent them out in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This means that Jesus gave the disciples, and us, access to his authority. I don’t want to be the daughter who sits at home doing nothing because I’m not aware of what I have access to. I don’t want to be the person who when Jesus asks what have I done with the talents (gifts/tools/access) he gave me I tell him I buried them in a field because I didn’t know what to do with them.

Now let’s look at God’s will on healing. There are no reported cases in the New Testament where Jesus didn’t heal people who approached him. There was one time with the Syrophoenician woman where Jesus told her she had to wait until the Jews had eaten their fill (Mark 7). But when she refutes him he is amazed and heals her. Do I think she stole her healing? No. Do I think she changed Jesus’ mind? Maybe. What I do know is that we can’t use this as an example for God not healing because Jesus had not yet died for our sins and released our healing. Therefore, it was completely up to what God was doing in Heaven. Maybe Jesus had this interaction for our benefit, so that we too might grasp at everything God has given us. Maybe it was because she had no pre-conceived ideas about the Messiah (because she wasn’t Jewish) and therefore approached Jesus as one who could heal, not through a distorted lens.  At the end of the day, we won’t really know the reason behind this, but what we do know is that all the people Jesus prayed for were healed, delivered, cleansed, forgiven or raised from the dead. When Jesus was questioned about his ability to heal the demon possessed boy he answered, “If you can? Everything is possible for the one who believes.” This is such an absolute statement that I can’t help but play it out in my mind and find out what God has for us.

Let’s look for a bit at Mark 6. This is where Jesus could not do any miracles in his home town because they couldn’t believe that their Jesus, the carpenter, could have such wisdom and authority. All he could do was lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. Ok. So it doesn’t say that he laid hands on them and they weren’t made well. It said he couldn’t do miracles. But if Jesus only did what he saw his father doing, then why couldn’t he perform miracles? Jesus was amazed at their lack of faith. Yet he also said that all you need is faith as small as a mustard seed to move mountains. So the Nazarenes must have had no faith in Jesus at all.

When the disciples couldn’t cast out the demons in the boy in Mark 9 and Matthew 17, they asked Jesus why and there are two recorded answers. The answer in Matthew 17 was that they had so little faith and that all they needed was faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains. The answer in Mark said that this type can only come out by prayer and fasting. I am going to say what I feel the Holy Spirit is revealing to me. I imagine that the disciples were accustomed to having a pretty good track record by this time. I am thinking that people were delivered and healed quite instantaneously. Maybe in this instance the demon didn’t come out straight away and they just gave up. Maybe their lack of faith was not seeking the Spirit again on how to approach this deliverance. Now, that’s not a fair assessment because the Holy Spirit had not yet been given to them, but maybe it’s just that they didn’t try again. They gave up. Now that’s only Aimee’s interpretation – I’m just sharing what I feel in regards to this and my healing journey.

In the New Testament the word splagchnizomai [Greek for compassion] is used only in Matthew, Mark and Luke 12 times. Out of those 12 times, ten times are referring to Jesus having compassion on a person or people, and the other two times are once for the father of the prodigal son and once for the Good Samaritan. I think this is key, as these are two of the main parables used to describe amazing love. Jesus showed amazing love and compassion when he died for our sins – releasing our healing from that moment on. By his stripes we were healed. Jesus wanted the apostles to continue his legacy healing, delivering, resurrecting, cleansing etc. That is why he sent us the Holy Spirit. Some people believe that miracles were only for the apostles in growing the early church. Then why is the Holy Spirit still with us?

Jesus said to the disciples in Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth.” There is no way that the apostles could have covered ‘to the ends of the earth’ so that responsibility has been passed down to us. It’s our job. And I can’t believe it’s God’s will to heal some and not others. I think it’s become a convenient excuse for us not to press in to God and access all he has given us for our fear of disappointment. We have lost our trust in the goodness of God to protect our egos. We have lost sight of the father-heart of God as we make excuses for prayers that seem to affect nothing. I don’t have all the answers, and I never will. But I do know that the more I press in to God, the more I will hear him and the more people will be healed. I don’t know why some people don’t get immediately healed – I don’t need to know why either. But I do know that it’s not God’s will for them to be sick. So, until I get to Heaven and meet my saviour face to face, I want to pursue a lifestyle he will be proud of, one that emulates him, one that sets me apart as a follower of Christ.

Orphans or Heirs?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what our humble approach to God should look like. Humility has been a bit of a buzz word in Christian circles and teaching and we seem to have formed our own ideas about how this should be demonstrated. I've heard conflicting views and I wanted to get to an accurate description, or interpretation of humility.

"True humility" is distinctly different from "false humility" which consists of deprecating one's own sanctity, gifts, talents, and accomplishments for the sake of receiving praise or adulation from others. This is an excerpt from Wikipedia and I think it fits the Biblical descriptions of humility quite well.

Various other definitions include "a modest or low view of one's own importance; meekness, submissiveness. This is, in my opinion, where we go wrong as Christians. We take this idea of having a low opinion of ourselves and degrade our strengths and talk up our weaknesses. I believe this is false humility. Let's explore this further.

Paul, the apostle, boasted in his weakness, but only to show God's work in his life. In our weakness, God is made strong. But we can't take this so literally. Paul said, "I thank God that I pray in tongues more than all of you." (1 Cor 14:18) but he also said, "For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle" (1 Cor 15:9). And yet again he seems to contradict that statement with, "I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. I ought to have been commended by you, for I am not in the least inferior to the “super-apostles,” even though I am nothing." (2 Cor 12:11) Paul is not seeming to take a low, submissive view of himself when he claims to do something more than all of the recipients of his letter. But maybe he qualifies this in his following chapter when he claims to be the least of the apostles. But this statement is confusing because in chapter 12 of the same letter, Paul is defending his place among the "super apostles" claiming that he is not inferior to them - even though he is nothing. Paul has consistently made paradoxical statements throughout the scriptures, which leads me to think that all scripture was designed to be read with the help of the Holy Spirit. The scriptures are, after all, God-breathed, so we should approach God when we try to interpret them.

Let's look at little more into some of our favourite Bible verses on humility.

James 4:10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." I like this verse, but I believe that the Holy Spirit has revealed this further meaning to me. When we humble ourselves before the Lord - have a low esteem, change our haughty ways, ceasing revelry and taking on a repentent heart - then He will lift us up. Prior to this James said, "draw near to God and he willl draw near to you." I believe that when we come into the presence of God, his goodness and mercy and grace are so evident that we can't help but be humbled. But what is promised to us? That we will be lifted up. I looked the meaning of the word 'lift' (hupsoo) in greek and it says, "to lift up on high, to exalt; metaphorically - to raise to the very summit of opulence and prosperity or to exalt, to raise to dignity, honour and happiness". Maybe this is referring to us when we get to Heaven. But then again - what if it's referring to now. If Jesus was growing in stature with God and man, then there's no reason, if we humble ourselves before God, why he would not parent us in the same way as his son Jesus. We are, after all, co-heirs with Christ, aren't we? 1 Peter 5:6 says a similar thing. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."

Here's another one.

Romans 12:3 "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." This is an interesting one because Paul tags on to the end of his sentence that we should think of ourselves in sober judgement in accordance with the faith that God has given each of us. This word sober is 'sophroneo' in the Greek translation and means to be in right mind; to exercise self control; to put a moderate estimation on one's self. I also looked up the meaning of faith (pistis) in this scripture and the greek definitions include, "conviction of the truth of anything; in the NT of a conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, generally with the included idea of trust and holy fervour born of faith and joined with it relating to God; the conviction that God exists and is the creator and ruler of all things, the provider and bestower of eternal salvation through Christ." This verse doesn't tell us not to have a good opinion of ourselves, but not to think too highly of ourselves. It tells us to judge ourselves in our right minds, in moderate estimation according to the faith we have been given. There are no verses telling us we should not think highly of ourselves. But there are verses telling us to be humble. So this would indicate that there is a middle ground. The revelation I have received is that we are encouraged to have an accurate opinion of ourselves. We were sinners, but we are now saved. Maybe I am wrong in this interpretation, but at our moment of conversion, we humbled ourselves. We confessed our sins and repented. And God lifted us up, exalted us, adopted us. If our level of faith brings us to a place where we are confident in God's opinion of us - then that's great. If God has saved us and forgiven us all our past, present and future sins through Jesus on the cross; if God has redeemed us and called us his treasured posession; if God has, through his abounding grace, given us giftings and strengths to further his kingdom on earth - then who are we to disagree? But then again, if our faith has not yet led us to this revelation, then I for one, will not cast judgement against them, but honour them for who God sees them as.

Let me finish with this analogy I received from God. Romans, Ephesians and Galations all talk about our adoption by God. I was thinking about adoption here on earth. Specifically adoption of foster children into a caring and loving family. I'm going to generalise here, but this generalisation is a result of me being acquainted with different children and adults who have been through this process. First there's the issue of trust. These children will often scavenge food at meal times because they are not sure when they will eat again. There is also the common theme of being suspicious when something nice is done for them or given to them because something has always been expected back from them. There will often be feelings of inadequacy - like I'm not good enough to deserve something like this; if these people knew the 'real me' they wouldn't keep me; or I'm going to do everything I can to pay these people back for their goodness... They may not become friends with the biological children of the adoptive parents; often they will run away because they don't know how to respond to love like this. (Obviously these sorts of feelings and behaviours are not that common with children who have been adopted from younger ages.)

Now let's look at the adoptive parents. Assuming they are adopting for the right reasons, what will their expectations of the child be? That the child will become one of their family members. That the child will have all the same rights and privileges as their biological children. That the child will take their name and with it, the pride of belonging to a family. I can imagine how devastated godly parents would be if their adopted son refused to be a part of their family because of the sinfulness of his past life. I imagine that they would want him to know that all of his past life was forgiven and forgotten at the point of his adoption. I would propose that if an adopted child did not want to take the name and privileges of her new family, it would grieve her new parents that she was not living her life to the best she was able. I believe that the family of the adopted child would be looking forward to playing with him, living with him, learning about his strengths and supporting him through his weaknesses. They would become co-heirs. They would all carry the family name. They would all inherit the family's fortune. They would all receive the parents' love. They would all be forgiven.

I want to propose that when we persist in our low opinion of ourselves - despite our pure motives to humble ourselves - that we grieve the heart of God, our adoptive father. We need to think of ourselves in sober judgement. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging our gifts - after all, they didn't come from us, they came from our Father. Let us take up our positions in God's family, accepting what Jesus did for us, as us and press on to receive the prize of eternal life - living in Heaven with our Father and family.

Matthew 7:11 "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"