What's in your Toolbox?

Have you ever reacted to a situation in the spur of the moment to then realize that instead of solving the problem quickly, you just seemed to make a bigger mess? Or the moment where you did nothing because you had no idea at all what to do? Let’s take a moment to look into the behaviours of the subconscious mind. When a situation occurs and we have a split second to react or respond, our mind reaches into an invisible toolbox that holds all the tools that we have learned through life. The toolbox has inbuilt compartments or sections to store tools in (or may remain empty if never stocked). Sections will include family, relationships, work life, parenting and a whole number of drawers and compartments that are accessed from time to time (driving, shopping, school etc).

Humans were made to be highly relational. Original design was for babies to be born and raised in a family. We learn by imitation. That goes for relationships too. Sometimes when we learn something, it’s like a shiny new tool in our tool box. Other times we inherit an old broken tool. If all I received from my parents was a hammer, then I will approach every situation looking at what I can use my hammer for. Too bad if something needs to be cut down to size… It doesn’t matter how diligently I use my hammer to cut that thing down, it’s not going to do a very good job and will probably leave a mess. Too many of us think that we can float our way through life and as long as we love Jesus then everything will be alright. I’m curious as to how that’s working out for you…

Building a house takes more than a hammer. Building a relationship takes more than love. Love should be your power, your energy source, but you will still need a range of tools to build an effective relationship. Tools like trust, assertiveness, patience, understanding, romance and negotiation are just a few that you will need. If you didn’t get these from your parents or significant role models in your life, then there are trained counsellors and coaches that can help you, but you can also go straight to the SOURCE. Take a moment and ask your Heavenly Father for more tools for your toolbox. If your earthly parents delight in giving you good gifts, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to you!!

Pictures within pictures

If you’re like me, and have been in church your whole life, then it’s likely that, just like me, you have heard many references to us being the ‘bride of Christ’. This statement was confusing to me because, well, I was ok being Christ’s bride, but I felt sorry for the guys in the church that they had to marry a man. I know now that the church(as a whole body of believers) is the bride of Christ, not us as specific individuals, although in being part of the bride, there are obvious instructions and benefits that come with that role. For as long as I can remember, I have not heard a specific sermon on being part of the bride. I mean, I’ve heard plenty of sermons that are about being part of the ‘body of Christ’ and are usually prepared and given around yearly offering times or church working bees. If I appear to be a little cynical, please forgive me – these may simply intersect coincidentally, but usually I leave with the bitter taste of attempted manipulation in my mouth.

Anyway! On to the real point of this blog. Over the past year I’ve been exposed to teaching on topics that I haven’t previously heard, and to be honest, make a lot more sense than the messages I have heard in my childhood on the same verses. Although I understood the bride of Christ analogy, I didn’t realise that the parallels to Jewish weddings ran deep. I want to walk you through the process, because it’s blowing my mind right about now!

Jewish men and women would live with their parents until they got married. When a man wanted to marry (or his father deemed him ready), his father would send out a servant to find a suitable match. We see this in Genesis 24 when Abraham sent out a servant to find Isaac a wife. The bride would be chosen. John 15:16 says “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain.” We have been chosen by the Father to be a bride for the Son.

The man would then need to meet this woman and be prepared to pay the bride price, or dowry. “We were bought at a price” (1 Cor 7:23) – the highest price. Jesus gave His life so we might live with him, in His land and His house. In 1 Cor 6:19-20 we are reminded that “your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

After the bride price had been discussed and agreed on, there would be a betrothal ceremony. The bride had been chosen, but she had the final say. She had a right to refuse. We often say that God is a gentleman and will not force anyone to accept Him. This too is illustrated in the marriage analogy. The man would offer his potential wife a cup of wine. If she drank it, she agreed to marry and if she poured it out or broke the cup then she refused the man. Every person has a choice of whether to accept the betrothal of Jesus or reject it.

If she accepted then they would share the cup of wine – and then would share a second cup of wine months or years later during the wedding ceremony. In Luke 22:20 Jesus told his disciples that “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is shed for you” and in vs 18 told them that he will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the day he would drink it new with them in His Father’s kingdom. The disciples would not have missed the frequent wedding hints that Jesus kept throwing out to them.

In addition to the bride price, which was paid to the father, the man would usually bring a gift for his betrothed. It was often something valuable that he could leave with her so that she would remember him while he was away building a home for them. In our day we have an engagement ring, in those days it might have been a ring or a coin or something, but for us – we have the Holy Spirit. Jesus left earth to prepare a place for us, but he said he was leaving us with an advocate, the Holy Spirit, and with Him are the gifts of the Spirit.

After the covenant was sealed and written in triplicate (one for the groom, one for the father and one for the Synagogue) the couple were officially married, but the marriage would not be consummated until the man came back to claim his bride. The contract was legal and binding and the couple could only separate if the man filed for divorce – the woman had no say in it. The man would then make a speech that might include sentences such as: In my father’s house there are many rooms, and I will go to prepare a place for you. And when I have prepared a place I will return to receive you to myself, that were I am, you will be also (paraphrased from John 14:2-3). The first time I heard that I had tingles running up and down my spine!!

The bride would then return to her house, with her bridesmaids, and wait for her husband. She was now betrothed. Married. Set apart. It was up to her to stay faithful. She would wear a veil on her head to indicate she was no longer available. She would often light a lamp in her room at night to ensure her husband knew where to come to get her. This is illustrated in the parable of the ten virgins (Matt 25) where only five had enough oil to attend the wedding ceremony. It was the bridesmaids’ job to ensure they had enough oil to keep the lamp burning in the window, and to prepare the bride for marriage.

When the groom had finished building his new house (at which no one would know the exact time except his father) he would gather together his groomsmen and his family and they would parade through the streets to collect his bride. He would often come in the middle of the night, unannounced apart from the trumpeting sound of the shofar and the joyous shouts of him and his friends. Hopefully he would find his bride excited and ready to be taken back to their new house to start the seven day wedding celebration.

The imagery created all throughout the gospels would not have escaped the ordinary Jewish citizen. As the bride of Christ, we are waiting with anticipation the day when our groom will come back to get us, but in the waiting there is a stewardship that is expected, a diligence in following Jesus’ commands. The Bible is so multi-faceted that we are all at one time children, servants, friends, bride and disciples of Christ, just to name a few! Part of the joy of relationship with God is finding out what each of these roles look like for us as individuals and as a whole body of believers. It’s a mystery and a journey but if we seek Him, we will find Him. Even though I’ve found Him, there is so much more of Him to discover that I find myself, in the words of Heidi Baker, fully satisfied and ravenously hungry.

Will you say yes to Love?

Many times when I sit and reflect on other time periods in history I try to imagine how I would have lived in that time and place and how much I would have loved to be one of the ‘game changers’. I don’t know about you, but I would often imagine myself giving Martin Luther King’s speech, of being Rosa Parks on that bus, of being one of the houses that smuggled refugees during the holocaust. There is so much within me wanting to make a difference. Wanting to see lives and society changed. And ultimately it’s not even about me being recognised for it - it’s more like me knowing that my life wasn’t a waste.

Let’s face it. We get between 0-100-and-something years on this planet. I have no idea why some people die before they are born and other people smoke and drink their whole life and live more than 90 years. It doesn’t match up. But then I’m looking through the wrong lens. Life is not fair. It never has been and it never will be. If life was fair it would also be predictable. And as much safety there is in predictability, there is no anticipation or excitement. I, for one, would rather live a life that was unsafe and unpredictable rather than one that is the opposite. Why? I have a number of reasons. But I wonder what type of life you would prefer?

We are all made to make a difference in this world. No exceptions. But the interesting thing to note is the difference between those people who know they are made to impact the world and those who are either unaware of this fact or choose not to believe it. I teach a group of 10-12 year olds who all believe they are on this earth to make a difference. In 11 weeks we will be taking about 22 of these children to the capital of America, Washington DC, to play their part in making a difference. These children are going to visit congress and encourage their nation’s leaders; they will be standing on the steps of the United States Supreme Court praying for those women and children affected by abortion; they will be playing their part and making a difference. And the best part is – they know it! There is a fire in their eyes and they know they are going to affect change. It’s one of the most thrilling things to witness. If they are igniting change at this age – they’ll be unstoppable through university, in their jobs, with other parents at their kids’ schools… The possibilities are endless and I’m excited!!

Life was meant to be lived, not simply endured. For too long now the church has been living a safe, ineffective existence because they’re afraid of being tainted by the evil in the world. They’ve been separating themselves for decades because they’re afraid of change happening to them. I no longer am interested in such a representation of my friend Jesus. That’s not how he lived and it’s not what he died for. Yes, the human race is fallen and depraved. I get it. I see the news and hear the reports. But here’s the best part!! Jesus didn’t die only to give us a ticket into Heaven – which is unfortunately the message of Christianity that has been booming for as long as I can remember. He came to give us life! His life! He died in our place and therefore everything that was his is now ours if we choose to accept it.

Jesus was the biggest revolutionary of all time. He changed the course of the world forever. He empowered women (if you read your Bible properly you will see this), he healed the sick, he broke the rules that were burdening the people, he offended the powerful (let’s use wisdom here…haha) and he befriended the sinners. He showed us what his father is really like. God is love. Jesus changed the world with a new perspective of love. And if you, like me, have been adopted into this family of love, then it’s our responsibility to keep on with our family’s mandate – Love God and Love Others. It’s simple but not always easy. But the smallest act of love can have a ripple effect so much greater than we could ever know. Will you say yes to Love?