Is Heaven the End Goal?

I’ve had something milling around in my heart for maybe the last twelve months that I have only now begun to start to verbalise and chew over. It’s something that I wish I had have known growing up, but I am also thankful that I have a full life ahead of me to live out in a manner worthy of the One who gave it to me.

As a follower of Jesus, I have always accepted that He was crucified as in innocent man to pay the death penalty for all mankind to create access to God the Father and, on acceptance of this gift, eternal life in Heaven. And while this is true, it’s not the whole story! But for too long, it’s been the only story that our world has been exposed to. Why, even this week we had a tract slipped into our mailbox asking, “If you died today, are you 100% sure Heaven will be your home? You can be, if you…” The message this tract is sending is that the goal of Christianity is to convert poor, lost sinner souls to get an A+ when we reach those pearly gates. Please don’t get me wrong. Jesus died so that all may know the truth and come into communion with the Father – but it doesn’t stop there!!

Let’s go back to the beginning. Adam and Eve. God’s prized creations. Why were humans so special? Because we are created in God’s image! Not even the angels can claim that. God trusted Adam so much that He commissioned Adam to name all the animals that had been created. Just think on that for a moment. God invited Adam into the creation process. They co-laboured. God’s original intention for man was to co-labour with us in creating. Wow. It says in Romans 3:23 that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. What does this mean? That we were destined for glory!! You can’t fall short of something that you weren’t on track to receive! God’s plan for humankind was to dwell in His glory. However, a well-known couple messed that up for us (though I’ve pondered the fact that if it wasn’t them – would it have been someone else…) which meant that we fell short of our original purpose and were separated from our life source – the Father.

Fast forward a few thousand years and we have Jesus. Jesus who was both fully man and fully God. He came to earth as a baby – born of immaculate conception to not be bound to the human heritage of sin passed down through the male line – and grew up to be a miracle working, kingdom bringing, Pharisee offending man in the Middle East. The last verse of John tells us that if all the miracles of Jesus were written down that even the whole world would not have room for the books that were written. Now, I understand that this is most likely an exaggeration, but even so, that still leaves a lot of room for miracles!

All throughout the gospels, Jesus refers to a Kingdom not of this earth. He also rewrites the law to point to a renewed relationship with the Father. The [Mosaic] Law was ruling the Jewish world at this time, but Jesus had actually come to earth to fulfil this [Mosaic] Law and prepare the way for the Father’s new covenant with mankind (Matt 5:17). Jesus became our example of how we can live when in right relationship with the Father. He became the standard. We, as his followers, are called and empowered to live a life like Jesus! You see, this is the best part about God our Father – He’s a great Dad! He made a way for us to become righteous, and in that righteousness have access to all that Jesus had access to!! But how do we know that? It tells us in Romans 8:15 that we are no longer slaves [to sin] but have received a spirit of adoption as sons [and daughters] of God. If God truly sees us as his children, then we have an inheritance equal to Jesus! Now, of course, I’m talking about the standard access we have to the Father and the gifts of the Holy Spirit etc – not to be confused with our reward in Heaven or the favour we have with God.

I’m also reminded of the scripture in 1 John 4:17 that shows that as he is so are we in this world (italics mine). Right now Jesus is glorified in Heaven. And this verse tells us as he is so are we… Paul also tells us in Romans 8 that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead actually lives in us when we have received the gift Jesus gave through his death and resurrection. There is no difference between the Spirit that lived in Jesus and the Spirit that we invite in. That’s definitely a ‘selah’ moment to think about and dwell on.

So. What did Jesus actually die for? To give people a ticket to Heaven? We need to change our perspective. Heaven is not the goal. Heaven is simply a [great] consequence to accepting Jesus. The goal is to live like Jesus did. The goal is to make sure I am making the most of the gift Jesus paid for. The goal is to love our neighbours with such an unselfish love that they see the Father. Our goal is to end suffering through the power of the gospel given to us by the Holy Spirit. Our goal is to break the yoke of oppression and bring the truth – because it’s only the truth that will make people free. So let’s commit to bringing the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so that Jesus will get his full reward!

A True Friend

It’s leading up to that time again. Goodbye. Throughout my life I’ve had a significant number of key goodbyes, as well as many more interim goodbyes. My first major goodbye was leaving my home town of Melbourne to live in New Zealand when I was just shy of 21 years old. I didn’t know how long I’d be gone for. I said goodbye to my high school friends, family friends, and family. And I was welcomed into New Zealand by other friends and a surrogate family. I was there for 7.5 years and made deep friendships and connections.

My next significant goodbye was leaving New Zealand to go back home to Melbourne. All of my adult life, thus far, had been spent in NZ. The people in my life were close friends and had become family, and it was hard, but time to move on. Not long after I moved back home I felt that I should live in Indonesia for one year to teach at a new school there. Along the way I met incredibly awesome people and in a short time had formed lasting friendships despite the short term visit. And now, after nearly 9 months of growing and learning together, yet another significant goodbye is imminent.

So many people in my life have impacted me on various levels. And it’s amazing how something so simple as a Skype conversation can immediately bring you and them so close again. All of a sudden it’s like you never left. It got me thinking about friends throughout my journey of life. How much I love and adore them. And in those moments where insecurity comes knocking at the door – I choose to partner with the truth.

I am reminded of one friend in particular. He’s actually one of my oldest friends. I met him when I was about five years old, I think. He came to my house on a sunny day – I still remember it. We would go all sorts of places together. I didn’t always specifically invite him because I knew he’d come anyway. After a while though I didn’t hang out so much. It became the kind of friendship that if I needed something, then I knew I could ask him for it and he’d be happy to give it. I knew the kind of things he liked to do, but I’d really only hang out when it suited me. There was also a long period of time where I assumed I knew what he liked and so I did those things but I didn’t really enjoy it so much. I knew that he wanted to be friends with all my other friends too, but I wasn’t sure if they would understand him. In hindsight, it was probably because I didn’t fully understand him either. You can only truly know someone when they share their heart with you and you with them. Trust is built through love and vulnerability, and for that there needs to be time spent together.

I didn’t really spend much time with my friend. Oh, I thought I did. But only now am I beginning to understand how he truly connects with me. I’ve got other friends who also know him, and for a long time I was trying to be friends with him the same way they were. I figured that if I copied them, then he’d feel more fulfilled in our friendship. But really, what kind of a friendship is one out of obligation? I was too task-oriented to understand how I was hurting both of us by not being myself. Ahh… Being myself. What does that even look like? Who am I? These are questions most graduating high school students ask themselves. I’m grateful that even through my somewhat nonchalance in high school, my friend came closer to me at this time. My parents were going through a divorce at this time and I was so blessed to have close friends who stood by me and strengthened me. But it was still my faithful friend who was the one whispering truth into my heart the whole time. It was he who reassured me it was nothing to do with me or my siblings. It was my dear friend who led me to forgive them, and thus freeing myself from the pit of self-pity or bitterness. Although my world was changing and moving – my friend held me close and grieved with me. No judgemental word has ever passed his lips.

In New Zealand this friend was someone I couldn’t do life without! I was finally free to figure out who I actually was created to be. In my teenage years I had picked up some lies about myself that were holding me back, and this new start in a new country with new friends allowed me to follow my destiny and my friend was by my side throughout the whole time. He led me to finding out about this amazing couple who are changing children’s lives at a phenomenal rate! He put me in a place where I was privileged to serve alongside these wonderful people and get a training that is second to none! He brought me into a workplace that allowed me to serve the children and earn money at the same time! Those years were some of the best in my life so far and I’m so grateful for friends with good connections!! It was in New Zealand that my friend revealed to me that teaching is my destiny. And he waited for the perfect time where I was ready to accept and choose this path because my whole life prior to that moment, I swore I didn’t want to be a teacher. And now teaching is what I love to do – it’s me. And he knew it all along but didn’t force me into it – he waited for me to catch up and see for myself the glorious joy in pursuing your destiny.

I watched friends get married, and being older than them and single for most of my time in NZ, disappointment and hopelessness came up to my front door. But my friend walked with me through this. He told me that he’s already been through this and he knows how to deal with these sneaky characters. He whispered the truth to me, and as I took a hold of these truths, fear and hopelessness and disappointment would have a hard time getting at me again because now I was armed and ready!! Not to say that they haven’t tried – but they don’t last long before they give up. My friend told me that there’s nothing more powerful than truth. I believe him. I’ve seen too many impossible things happen when the truth is applied.

And here’s some of the truth that I’ve learned over my 30 years of life on this planet. No situation is ever hopeless. Failure isn’t fatal – it’s just feedback – learn from your mistakes. Be yourself because that’s the most fulfilling part of living life. Don’t compare yourself to others – that’s just like comparing a banana to a watermelon. They’re both fruit but they’re completely different! My friend actually is God, who was born on earth so that he could experience everything humans experience in order to walk with them, grieve with them, laugh with them… Every emotion you go through – he has already faced, but he can do one better – he knows the truth that will set you free from the oppressive situations. He actually died on your behalf so that your life would be filled with joy and freedom! He died not so eliminate all sucky situations – but that you would have someone walking through them with you and for the redemption of what was lost.

Jesus never demanded that I change. He never condemned me for the times that I wasn’t reciprocating friendship. He never judged me for the times I made decisions out of fear. Instead he constantly whispered my worth and my identity to my spirit. He spoke encouraging and uplifting words that caused me to leave behind my fear or destructive ways and lift up my head and accept my identity as a child of God. Royalty. Identity. I have been frequently amazed at how gently Jesus speaks the truth, yet how violently the shift happens from destructive to constructive behaviours. Yet there’s a part of me that’s somewhat saddened, because if I knew way back then what I know now about Jesus then what heights would I have reached by now? And if I was believing characteristics about Jesus that Just aren’t true – then how many others are living with veils over their hearts? My deepest desire is that you, too, can know the Jesus I know. My friend who sticks closer than a brother. 

Akiane is the artist - Prince Of Peace, Age 8 (2003), © Copyright

Mission Trip = Completed!

The view out our window at the base house. The beach is about 20m away!

It all started in November 2012. The announcement came at school that we would soon need to select our mission trip options for April 2013. I browsed through the 77 different trips, both local, national and international, and scanned for the ones that stuck out to me. I decided that I wanted to go on a trip that featured work with children. This was my first mission trip and also my first opportunity to travel with a team, rather than only me or one other, and I didn’t want to push myself into the deep end! Our pastors had told us to pick trips based on what our hearts desired as opposed to what our bank balance reflected and I felt at peace about this and selected my trips. The trip I was selected for was my first choice – the island of Guanaja in Honduras, hooray!! This trip gave us the opportunity to partner with a couple who have been there for 8 years and planted a church there which started with only children and teenagers! Their original intent was to open a church to minister to drug and alcohol addicts, however, when they opened the doors – it was the children who showed up! Now, after some time has passed, many of the teens are now young adults and the children have become teens and the ministry is seeping into the homes through the witness of the children. These kids are the ones who are prophesying, telling people about what Jesus did for them, making powerful declarations that will affect their island and nation and bringing God’s love into their community. We were privileged and honoured to spend 8 days with these little powerhouses and we also had the opportunity to hang out with and pamper their mums.

Due to the size of the island there is no work for the men. This means they have to find work on the Cayman Islands, or on fishing or lobster boats, or the mainland of Honduras. This means that often, through no other choice, children and wives are left behind as their fathers and husbands find work. Marital unfaithfulness is rife, and the children know it. I had a conversation with one of the 14 year old girls and she told me that one day she wanted children, but she didn’t want to get married. She’s seen the devastation left in families when the men leave.

I had a little culture shock when we arrived
because of how much it looked like Indonesia!

One of the positives to this island is that due to its natural habitation, there is enough food for everyone. They live by the sea and can catch food for themselves if need be. Everyone is family and pulls together to make life work. The only reason people would go hungry is if they were too lazy to get their food. This means that there are no orphans or abandoned children – no street kids. If something happened to one family, then they have other family members who would take their children in etc.

Graham's Place (my view from my beach lounger!
Unfortunately even lying on the chair didn't
stop the sandflies from biting!!

We spent 4 days total in transit. We took a 4:00am bus from Redding to San Fransisco then a flight from San Fransisco to Houston where we changed planes to catch a flight to San Pedro Sula, Honduras mainland, and made it to our hotel around 11pm! Then the next day we took off for a 4 hour van ride to La Ceiba where we took a tiny little chartered flight over to the island of Guanaja. There were 15 of us on the trip and there were only 2 spare seats on the plane!! Following our arrival to Guanaja we then jumped on the ferry to get around to our little island of Savannah Bight – a 50min ride and we arrived at our lodging around 4:30pm!! Crazy amount of travel for 2 days!! On Sunday we had our first special treat – a trip to Graham’s Place – which is a private owned island that’s been made into a resort. It was such a necessary break after all that traveling! We could relax on the beach chairs or hammocks or the pier. That night was the second of a few special treats on our trip – dinner with their church community. The food was plentiful and delicious!!

The little jetty about 10 mins
walk from our base house.

One of the rock pools in the river on
the forest trek we did on Saturday.

Walking the rickety walkway over
the super boggy marshlands.

Throughout the school week we set up programmes for the primary and secondary school kids. There was only 1 school in the village which meant that the secondary aged children go to school from 7am-12pm and the primary school children go from 1pm til 5pm – and the same teachers teach all day!! In the evenings we had 3 days of ministering to the mums in the community with facials, back rubs and manicures – many of these women had never painted their nails in their life!! We also affirmed them in their roles as mums and as women and empowered them to be who God created them to be. On the fourth night the boys took over and had a men’s night with the guys who are still in the community and some of the young men who are fresh out of school.

Friday saw us treated once again with a trip out to Clearwater Paradise Resort where we were able to go out snorkelling and relax in the hammocks and enjoy the tropical weather. Lunch was included and very delicious – including home-made vanilla ice-cream and some yummy no-bake almond joys!!!  Saturday were more ministry days and church in the evening on Sunday with some slots of street ministry dotted all over the show.

Some of the team on our Saturday trek.

Megan and I were praying for this man’s knee and we saw his face as the pain noticeably lessened and he was able to walk on it with no trouble! But the most amazing things to see were the transformations in people who we were interacting with every day! One 20 year old young man started out teasing our team in Spanish (despite his private school education English) and stayed on the outskirts of any events we ran yet on our final night he offered to be a translator for our team who was preaching at church!! Julie was doing her best, but translating is difficult at the best of times – and this young man stepped up and hit a home run! Another man was cooking for us and there was a misunderstanding between him and his assistant and drunken words were exchanged and threats to families and therefore our cook needed to spend some time in the jail, but after two days of receiving food from his employers and having visits and prayer, he did something that was previously against his character – he gave up his grudge and forgave the misunderstanding and was at church the very day he was released!! This has never happened before! Another one of our women had been too wounded from her previous husband to fully trust a man again, despite living with a good man for at least the last 7 years but after our ministry to the women and her exposure to the presence of God, she announced on Sunday that she was finally ready to trust her new man and get married!! Another young girl who had been taken advantage of at a young age felt the love of God through inner healing and forgiveness and is now filled with hope for her future!

There are plenty of unfinished housed here too - walls but no roof!

Sometimes it’s easy to feel a little disappointed that we didn’t see legs growing out or blind eyes opened, or deaf ears hearing again – but I am just as excited to see a changed life however it comes! Whether it’s an inner healing or physical healing, the fact of the matter is that God wants you well! And it’s our job, as followers of Christ, to share this good news! To tell the world what Jesus did to make a way for our healing! Lives are forever changed through the love that was shared on that island for the 8 days we were there, in addition to the prior 8 years of work the Nelms have been pouring into their people!

If you don't own land, then you can build out over the water.

I want to say thank you, again, to all of those generous people who contributed to my mission fund. I actually could not have gone without all of your donations and it touched my heart deeply that so many of you would want to partner with me in this way! The Nelms’ are working on helping the island to start up a farmers’ market to help create revenue on the island, so for those of you who were partnering with me in prayer – this is a valuable prayer point. When the men are free to return, then transformation with begin in a big way!!

Where is your hope?

There's not much better than fresh new insight on an old problem. I was so encouraged by Steve and Wendy Backlund's message in school the other day that I decided it was too good not to share!

Hopelessness is a dark shadow that often manages to sneak into areas of our life without us knowing. It's not  easily recognised, and so flies under the radar much of the time. Oftentimes when we sit down and ask Holy Spirit to bring insight into areas of our lives that are suffering moodiness, depression, anger etc we can find that the root cause is hopelessness. 

Steve Backlund says that every area of our life that doesn't glisten with hope is believing a lie, and that lie is a stronghold of the enemy. A statement like this really gets you thinking. What does it mean to be loyal to a lie? It means to believe something about you, your life, or your circumstances that is not consistent with how God sees it. For example, I might (consciously or sub-consciously) I might believe that I am still single because I haven't been focusing enough on God, that he has held back my ideal man until my prayer life is sorted and consistent. Then because of that I plan to have routine and structured time with God so I can focus on Him and manipulate Him into giving me what I want because I'm giving Him what he wants. The reality in this situation is that God doesn't need us to do anything for Him to release His goodness to us. Just think on that for a bit... While we were still sinners - or for us in this day and age - before we were born - Jesus died for us. He took our place and made a way for us to be made whole. So God releases His goodness because that's who He is - He's good! His goodness is not dependent on our behaviour. When our paradigm shifts to understand that all God wants for us is His goodness to invade, then the lies in our life will be replaced with God's truth and hope can then take over the hopelessness.

Your hopelessness about your problem is a bigger problem than the problem!! There is always an answer - there is always a way out. This isn't cliche, it's not trite, it's not even positive thinking - it's the truth. As Christians, it's often easier for us to surrender our behaviour than our beliefs. We think that if we DO something that God wants, then it'll all work out ok. The trouble comes when our problem is actually on the belief level, because changing the behaviour is only like fixing the symptoms rather than fixing the cause. This is where the leap of faith comes it. Faith is believing in something we can't see. So even when everything about our situation looks hopeless, faith is choosing to partner with Heaven's reality and stepping out in faith in that direction. Our underlying belief always has to be that God is always backing us for our best.

Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds - we call that repentance. I used to think that repentance was feeling really sorry for the sucky things I did and feeling remorse for grieving God and other people, which is true to a point. But too often we're actually just sorry that we got busted, or that a mess was made. True repentance is giving up the lie that we were believing that caused us to mess up and asking God to give us His truth in the situation. Repentance is renewing our minds which leads to transformation. Once we understand this principle we will experience the freedom that Jesus paid for on the cross. Joy will come back into our lives and hope will abound!

At this point in my life I can now see problems as opportunities to see how big my God is, and how much He loves to give us good things. He's not out there booby-trapping us to see how we react, or to test our character. That's not the behaviour of a good Dad. We are reminded in the Bible that God is so much more perfect and good than our earthly fathers, so if we are believing that God would behave in a way more terrible than a human father, then we need to repent (change our thinking) and ask Him for what His truth is. There are no hopeless situations. Ever. Remember that and your life will be changed forever.

Amazing Stuff

"In the days of the prophet Elijah, there arose a company of men who were called the "sons of the prophets". These men traveled throughout the world ravaging the powers of darkness, wreaking havoc on evil kingdoms. They had no tolerance for the destructive behaviour of wicked kings but rather turned many to righteousness. They raised the dead, healed the sick, parted rivers, destroyed false prophets and saw revival spread throughout their land. They were feared by many and respected by all. The walked in great purity; and God was their friend.

"Today, all around us, wickedness continues to grow, taking root in the lives of those we love and eroding the very foundation of our country. Satanism is spreading like wildfire. Psychics laugh in the face of the church as they demonstrate the power of the dark side. Divorce is destroying our families and violence is corrupting our children. Sickness and disease take the lives of so many. Yet the words of our Lord Jesus echo through the halls of history, "...he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these will he do; because I go to the Father" (John 14:12).

"In Acts 3:25, Peter says, "It is you who are the sons of the Prophets..." It is time for the Body of Christ to rise up and receive our inheritance! We must rid ourselves of complacency and restore the ancient boundaries of holiness and demonstrations of great power. We cannot be satisfied with illustrative sermons, great music and friendly services. We have been called to see the powers of darkness destroyed and our ruined cities restored.

"In the days of Moses, God demonstrated his power to Pharaoh, but Pharaoh counter-attacked by having his sorcerers duplicate the miracles of God. Then the God of Heaven, who has all power, performed extraordinary miracles so that even the sorcerers said, "This must be God. We cannot perform these miracles." Finally Pharaoh was overcome by God's power and let His people go. (See Exodus 7-12)

"I believe that the Pharaoh of this age is about to let go of our cities as God demonstrates His raw power through His church. We are in the midst of the greatest revival in human history. Yet there remains a distance between what should be and what will be.

"That distance is you! What will you be?

"You are the bridge between history and His story.

"You are the sons of the prophets!"

- Introduction for Kris Vallotton's "Basic Training for the Prophetic Ministry"

This says it all! I am so honoured to be learning from men such as Kris who are training people from all over the world to carry the presence of God. They teach us what should be taught in all churches, but for many various reasons are not. I'm excited to go out from Bethel equipped as a daughter of the prophets!!

The odds are already ever in my favour - my Dad's got my back!!

A Revelation

It's a fascinating thing. Here at Bethel we have a Bible reading plan as part of our course readings. We started with the gospels and now we're going into the epistles. At first, I was reading out of duty. I wanted to tick the boxes with integrity that I had completed the readings, but I was not yet captured by the Word. I have more of an awareness now about reading with the Spirit and expecting Him to reveal something new or relevant to me. My interest in the Word has picked up. But over these past few weeks we've been reading a text book called "Grasping God's Word" and this is, surprisingly, where my reading has deepened. It was after the chapters on reading sentences, paragraphs and discourses where I discovered the most insight. These chapters teach the reader to analyse the language first. Not the meaning at this stage, but the words. Look for and identify things such as figures of speech, repetition, cause and effect, pronouns and who they're referring to, active or passive or future verbs and so on. At first I thought this was a waste of time and I did the assignments because I had to. But then the next day when I read my Bible, I started looking into these features. I started noticing them and paying attention. And I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I started understanding the scripture more realistically. I was engaging with the text. I felt like the Bible was finally alive!! All through the analysis of language. Weird. But cool!

So now the Bible readings have become less of a chore and more fun. It's funny because I wasn't even trying to enjoy it - I was just doing my homework. I didn't even read the text book that diligently. I just did the bare minimum. Yet God still desires to meet me. He doesn't care about how much homework I do - He just wants a chance to hang out. And it was in  my morning Bible reading time that I received this revelation that I would like to share with you all! First, let's read Galatians 1:11-17

"I [Paul] want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel I preached is not of human origin. I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ. 

For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it. I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers. But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being. I did not go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went to Arabia. Later I returned to Damascus."

First - Paul didn't receive the gospel from any man. This is definitely not prescriptive for us in every setting, but it struck me. Paul is saying this to the Galatians because they started believing silly things - another gospel. Paul was letting them know that what he was preaching them had come straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. But sometimes I forget that people can receive a revelation of Jesus through the Holy Spirit - without humans delivering the message. At times I'm skeptical when I hear the experiences of these people, and I'm concerned with what doctrine they believe in, or if they believe enough to be fully saved, or if they've prayed 'the prayer'. I started wondering why we get so caught up in all these 'extras'. Sure, they might be important things to know - but if they were essential for the person to know right then and there - then I'd like to trust the Holy Spirit to reveal the necessary doctrine to people in the right time. It's my job to be sensitive to Holy Spirit to ask what I can share with the person that is going to outwork God's love in their life. It's my job to encourage them; not burden them. I wonder if this is why Paul said, "my immediate response was not to consult any human being."

Joseph's Dreams 

Let's think about this for a bit. Joseph in the Bible had his dreams of him family bowing down to him. He told his family about this and his brothers hated him and his father rebuked him. Now we had no idea of knowing how things would have worked out differently - but I suspect that if Joseph had have kept those dreams to himself, then maybe his rise to royalty would have followed a different path? Jesus had to lead the blind man outside the village to heal him. Why? I suspect that the unbelief in the village at Bethsaida was holding the man back from his healing. After the man was healed Jesus told him, "Don't go and tell anyone in the village." That's weird. Unless the people had the power to talk him out of his miracle... Life and death is in the power of the tongue.

Jesus had to lead the
man outside the village

Jesus had people in his village not believe he was the Messiah because he was familiar to them. People tried to get him to prove who he was on demand. Even satan tried, "If you are the son of God..." He tried to get Jesus to perform for what was already his. Just a few verses earlier the Heavens were rent and a voice from Heaven declared that Jesus was God's son. Jesus knew who he was and when satan tried to get him to prove it - there was no need. He had the dove, or presence of God on his shoulder. He knew his identity. But what about the rest of us? We're still on that journey. How many times do our past mistakes come back to haunt us? How many people out there refuse to accept that we have changed - still believing in what our actions told them we were? The first thing the devil does is try to take away our identity as children of the Most High. He tries to get us to doubt what Jesus has done for us. Then once we're on that track - he takes his hands off the wheel and our shame or guilt or introspection will click us into cruise control all the way down, down, down. No wonder Paul didn't go to human counsel right away. In a matter of days he went from murdering and imprisoning Christians to preaching to them and teaching them the gospel! I'm not naive enough to expect that all the Christian leaders would have been like, "Oh, cool! Great to see you Saul, oh sorry, you go by Paul now. Um, ok, well, here is my family - they're all here because they're so excited that you've changed. Wow. Praise God." Yeah right. That's the oldest trick in the book. It took Paul over three years before he met with any of the apostles!! Sure, he would have had some interaction with Christian leaders - but think about it. They only had letters and word of mouth. The initial chain of contact would have been very slow moving. And people would have been on watch waiting for Paul to show his true colours for a while. There was a good reason why Paul didn't talk to any humans about this for a while, outside of what the Spirit was leading him to do. There's a good chance they could have turned him against his conversion. There's a good chance he could have started doubting what God was calling him into. 

Sometimes God will reveal something to us that is not ready to be shared with other humans. We don't know why - and most of the time we don't need to know why. It's the sovereignty of God to be mysterious and our excitement to seek Him out. It's important to ask Holy Spirit if what He is revealing is for sharing or treasuring. Many leaders I respect will tell testimonies that include them holding on to revelations for years before sharing them. Dreams are tricky because we want to share the excitement with others, but then sometimes people aren't at the same part of their journey as you and can just as easily (unintentionally) talk you out of your dreams. I'm learning to ask the One who exists outside of time. The One who can see all things at once in all eternity. Who better to ask than the One who can give you the best option for that time? It's a new level of dependence that I'm discovering. Not because I'm incapable, but because I want to live the best life I can - and why would I not ask advice from the all-knowing One? 

I love this journey I'm on. It's exciting. It's unpredictable. It's intimate. It's revelatory. It's unbelievable. And the best thing is - you can have it too. Don't waste time 'getting right' with God - Jesus already did that part for you. Just open up your heart and say, "Daddy God, what do you want to tell me today?" And just listen and believe.

What is Holy Spirit revealing to you?

A New Operating System

1 week ago this ground was all dead...

It's November 4 and I'm sitting outside on this beautiful morning so grateful that we can have this gorgeous weather for a little while longer. About 3 weeks ago it rained for the first time in 8 months here. When I arrived in early September, the only green grass to be found were in properties that were well watered overnight. Everything else was dead and yellow. But now, three weeks after the first rain our backyard already has a green tinge. It's autumn, but it feels like spring. The oaks in our yard don't change colour - they just lose their leaves, but they've still got a healthy foliage. The sky is blue and streaked with whispy clouds. I've noticed that since I've been here I'm becoming more awed by natural beauty. Landscapes, mountain ranges, changing leaves, birds and their songs... As my heart is slowly being turned towards the One who loves me beyond my comprehension, so too, is my mind learning to recognise the gifts he has given all of his cherished ones. Each encounter with my God is one that brings me to a deeper understanding of how much He actually loves me! His love is transforming me. I start seeing myself doing things that I never thought were 'me'. And the best thing is - it feels completely natural!

Here's a testimony from recent events in my life.

I came to Bethel knowing that I didn't have enough money to see me through the 9 months here. I felt like it was something God was cool with, and I have never needed to see God come through for me with miraculous finances before. He's always given me a job immediately when I've needed money, so I thought it was time for me to take the next step in our relationship. It was time to learn to trust my Abba. (This is a personal testimony and I came to this conclusion out of relationship with God. It was not a 'test' for Him, but an opportunity for me to grow closer to Him through learning to trust Him.) 

Ok. So a couple of months went by and no financial miracles yet. I was admittedly a bit scared and resigned to the fact that if I accidentally screwed up in my understanding of God's talking with me, then that's cool - I'll just fly home... Now I'm accustomed to working for what I need. I don't have the luxury of rich parents, so my survival has always been up to me financially. Being in a country where I am not allowed to work is really hard for me because there is no way I can provide for myself! But as I would seek God's opinions on this matter, I always heard that I should relax and let Him take care of me. This was not easy. So I would go to people and ask them to pray with me (to see if they heard differently from God...) They all felt like God was saying to relax and trust Him - He's my Dad with unlimited resources and it's His pleasure to carry me through this season! Wow! As beautiful as that was - it was really difficult to swallow! Me? Worthy of that much attention from Him? I went through a series of revelations from Him about my identity as a daughter of His. That God, Himself, provided a way for all people to become as children of His through Jesus' death and resurrection. Finally I had come home to where I belong!

After this time I was more at peace about God providing but curious as to how He'd come through. I've heard a wise man say, "You can never out give God" and I always desired to be a generous person. But what God started to reveal to me was, that I was generous but only with people I knew and liked and who would be responsible with what I gave them. I thought that I was a good steward, that those were responsible decisions. But God challenged me. He asked me if I would give money to someone He prompted me to give to even if I knew they would not use the money wisely. I asked Him back if that would be wise stewardship. He challenged me further as to whether the limited money I could possibly give away to 'irresponsible' people could possibly affect the riches of Heaven... Ooh. He got me there. He then went on to explain that generosity has everything to do with compassion, following the leading of the Spirit and our heart as opposed to where the money is actually going. This was happening at a time where many students here were asking people for money to cover their tuition. My attitude at the time was that it's their responsibility to provide their tuition. That if they couldn't pay it off, then maybe they shouldn't be here... But then God reminded me of my situation... Ouch. I was all happy to give to my friends' tuition, but there were people there I didn't really know yet and I was not going to give them anything. Until God showed up. He challenged my attitude and then told me that if I gave $20 to this one person's tuition (this was a person who really irked me) then that would be the key to my financial breakthrough. I was like, God! That's not fair - you can't blackmail me! And He replied, I know, I'm teaching you. Ok. When you put it like that... I told Him that I'm only doing it cos He told me to, and I'm not in the state where I can be a 'cheerful giver'. He told me it didn't matter my attitude - the provision had already been made. The next day I paid the money and then Holy Spirit prompted me to look at my New Zealand bank account. Now, I haven't been in NZ for 2 years, but I've checked the account heaps of times hoping and praying for some sort of miracle. But I hadn't checked it for a few months. I opened the page and there was $86 in there!! What the?! Dividends from shares I had sold two years ago... Wow! All I could do was laugh. I mean, sure. Maybe the payment would have come through if I didn't give the $20, but then again...

So, at this stage I had enough money to pay my rent for November and now with this extra money I could probably see myself eating for that month too. I did, however, need a couple of extra winter clothes (due to only being able to bring 23kg with me!) So I decided that I could spend $100 on these things and that would leave me a little bit extra for fun times or whatever. I went to the shops and found some great bargains (thanks God!) and I was walking to my car when this young guy asked, "Hey, can you spare some money for a bus fare?" to which I did the head down, purse grab mumbled, "No, sorry." But then Holy Spirit spoke. "Go back and help him out." to which I replied in my head, "But he'll probably just spend it on drugs or whatever." to which Holy Spirit replied, "Do what you feel is best but you should go back and help him."

So I turned around and called him back and asked him what He needed. He explained that he got stranded here because these guys were robbing him and he was fighting them when the police came and arrested him. He lives in Southern California and had no job here and no way to get home. He was really embarrassed that he was reduced to asking for money to get back home. I thought (or maybe Holy Spirit said) that this would be an opportunity for me to show God's love to a perfect stranger who could most definitely use any money I gave him irresponsibly. I asked him when he wanted to leave and he said as soon as possible - had all his belongings in his backpack. So I took him to the bus station to see how much a ticket would be and when he could leave. Unfortunately it was Sunday and the ticket sales weren't open. I also found out that a ticket would be $130 but I only had $60 left (other than the money still in NZ). I told him such and he said that there's an organisation here in Redding that will help out with bus fares - if he comes up with half the money then they'll supply the rest in bus vouchers. All this time we had been chatting - he told me about his family, his work, his study dreams and his desire to hear from God personally (he was already a believer of Jesus). When we realised the bus depot was shut I then took him to his mate's house and took the plunge and decided I was going to give him the $60 in cash. We prayed before he left and it was such a cool time to hang out with God. The funny thing was, that although I was left with $6 in my account, I was not worried. My rent was paid for the all of November - so that left God 30 days to help me continue my journey here at Bethel. 

I went home and told all of my housemates the story - I was still buzzing at the craziness of what I did... It was cool. It felt like I was truly representing Jesus - which was a beautiful feeling! Just before bed I felt to check my USA bank account, which earlier that day showed only $6 left. I could not believe my eyes when I opened the page and there was $400 in there!! What?! Are you kidding me? I was totally overwhelmed by God's provision! It was at that moment where all residual fear of not having enough to last my time here disappeared. My Abba showed up. He gave me enough to survive another month. I was given the opportunity to trust Him and He is faithful. The funny part is that it's all things I knew but was yet to experience. There is nothing like an encounter with my God. Nothing at all can come close. 

I now understand generosity. I understand giving through compassion and the leading of Holy Spirit. He knows best. It's learning to be sensitive to those things that we would usually pass on by. It's not that we always give in order to receive, but more that we give because we have been given to! There's an element of both (farmers don't sow seed not expecting a harvest) and the best way to find out is to ask Holy Spirit what He thinks. I'm coming to realise that He always knows best.